Kris LeDonne 0:38

Welcome back to Picture Love, friends. You ever had one of those days where you had to keep doing something over and over, and you knew exactly what you needed to accomplish, but life just kept getting glitchy? That describes this episode today. I have something heavy on my heart, and it's something I would love to offer somebody who's just not in a space to accept a pep talk, somebody who I see so much good going on in them. And so I thought I'd record a pep talk and maybe like a time capsule. It will appear when this person is ready to receive. And in the meantime, I hope that somebody else will find a pearl that they need today. And I'm just gonna trust it gets received by the people who need it the most in the moment when it is most useful. And It kind of piggybacks on last week's episode of Picture Love Podcast when I was talking about the beauty of the in-between. You know, when you're between stages of life or chapters or all number of things that we humans get to go through. And the person who I would love so much to uplift, but I know not everybody is willing to receive it, this person has some really legit goals set up for their life, and they are looking at those goals and feeling like they are so out of reach, and in a point of frustration where it's just nothing but low emotions and restless sleep and grumpy conversations or ghosting. And I'm sure we can all relate to some version of some of that. You know, disappointment is, is pretty heavy. It's like a boulder, right? But disappointment doesn't mean that that thing, that goal, is out of reach or out of the question or unreachable. It- these are just the emotions that we kinda have to weed through, wade through, however you wanna look at it. And if we can look at those emotions with a little bit of extra compassion for ourselves, like we would for somebody else, I think it would really help us a lot. So I'm gonna speak from personal experience as well as the beauty I see in this person. And I believe fully that this person's goals and dreams are not only attainable, they are aligned, They deserve that and more. This person is feeling stuck. They're feeling in a holding pattern, they're feeling limitations, and they're feeling like forward movement isn't happening. But it is, and it's easier for me to see looking in from the outside than it is for somebody who's in the thick of it. But setting a goal is kind of like a ship setting course, and sometimes that voyage has to have detours. You know, there's the uncontrollable parts. There's the weather there's the ocean, there's the labor, there's conflict that happens. And I'd say the worst conflicts we ever experience as humans are the ones that happen within ourselves. So I was given this image in my mind of heavy chains, and those chains that we unknowingly put on ourselves get forged by disappointment, impatience, comparison, don't forget deadlines. You know, when we put a date on something, it it makes it almost a pass-fail scenario. Instead of considering the fact that, you know, a goal is something that we get to work towards. Like I said, like setting a compass. But just like GPS frequently gives us alternative routes when there's construction or there's an accident or a roadblock of some kind, it'll say, you know, can we redirect? And it'll give you options to avoid tolls, to avoid highways, to avoid, you know, bridges, things like that. And in this case, this person is not seeing all of the many hurdles they have already overcome. And those hurdles, those steps, when you look back, you see how far you've come. But if your eyes are only looking at the, at the end point, and that end point is physically out of sight, it leaves a lot of blind spots for us. So it's my my wish right now that when this person hears this pep talk, receive the invitation to take the chains off. Take the deep breath, let your shoulders go down where they belong, relax your jaw. And as you take off the chains, put down the comparison, because nobody is here to be a copy of what somebody else has accomplished. Put down the deadlines. You know, while it's nice to have something to work towards, understanding that there's more than one ship and to sail in life, and perhaps missing the ship is life's protection that keeps you from getting into very dangerous storms. Releasing the comparison, releasing the impatience, and all of those things, those chains, are the opposite of savoring and appreciating that in between. I mean, nobody goes on a vacation to have it over with. The purpose of a vacation is the experience. It's not about having it over with, a vacation is meant to be a break. It's meant to be an experience. It's meant to be a journey. And part of goals and reaching goals is the process of getting there, and all the directions that we have to stretch, and we have to grow, and the fears that we have to abandon. You know, coming back to the biggest battles are within ourselves, I think the biggest, biggest battle is always rooted in fear. You know? The fear of not getting there on time, the fear of not being good enough, the fear of not knowing enough, the fear of what other people perceive, the fear of not measuring up. And you know what? The fear of success is another biggie also, because what happens if I get there and I find out that's not what I want? Well, wouldn't it be wonderful to get there and decide there's something else you want to work for next, instead of I failed in life? I guess maybe what I'm trying to say is You can commit to something, but don't let the outcome determine your value. Love yourself. Love the process. Be willing to take a detour. Be willing to receive the experience that you had not planned on receiving in the first place. The worst-case scenario is you get to your goal and decide it's not what you want, so you try something else. You know, one of my favorite TV shows is Ted Lasso, and I was rewatching it with, with my family the other day, and there's a point where, the coaches made a decision in his absence when he wasn't in the room, and it backfired. And instead of motivating the team to do great, it motivated the teams to completely break down and, play angry. And so they were getting red cards everywhere. It was a hot mess, and Ted's response to the, to the coaches is, "Hey, you tried something new, and it didn't work. Carry on." And I think that's true for so many things. I mean, how many, How many tests do we have to get a perfect score on before we're happy? How many things do we have to do perfectly before we're happy? How many things do we have to fail before we realize there's life after failure? So I guess what I'm saying is, honor the goal, be willing to redirect and choose a new approach, and also be willing to allow yourself to choose a new goal if something better comes along. Let's not live life with blinders and blind spots. Let's live life open to being amazed. At the risk of sounding repetitive, I'm gonna reintroduce an acronym I shared with you a few months back, and the acronym was built on the word grow: gratefully recognize, and observe with wonder. So gratefully recognize where we are right now and where we'd like to be. Gratefully recognize what we've already accomplished and what's in front of us right here that needs our attention and our gratitude that we can build on, that we have built on. And observe with wonder. What's the next kind step I can take? What is the next kind step I noticed somebody else took? How can we inspire and encourage each other? How can we live without those chains weighing us down? How can I encourage myself? What about positive reinforcement every time we discover ourselves letting something go? I'm not saying let go of the people you love, like abandon them. I'm talking about letting go of the exact outcome and appreciating the process, and being like a little toddler who loves to people watch. Have you ever watched babies watch people? It's really fun because they're always curious. Their brains are like little sponges, and through their eyes, they're taking in all this data, and through their ears, they're hearing all of this information, and they look at life with wonder. I just told my daughter today, "I hope we all remember to look at life through the eyes of a baby." In that case, we were talking about her kitten. But if we could look at life and observe with wonder, there's always something to be grateful for. There's always something to decide, "I don't care for that," which is equally important to finding what we do care for, what we do prefer. It doesn't mean things are right or wrong. It just means some things resonate better with me, and some other things might resonate better with you, and it's all the process. So as far as pep talks go, give yourself a pep talk today. What's something you did right recently? What's something that you would do again the same way? What's something that you learned that you can use going forward? And how satisfying it would be if we decided to set a goal and bam, it's done. It wouldn't be nearly as satisfying to reach that end game. It's about the process. Doesn't mean we have to choose struggle. Doesn't mean it has to be hard. But what if we can discover the wonder between where we are and where we are aiming to be? So let's rediscover our wonder. I hope that helps somebody's heart today. Pay it forward if there's somebody you wanna encourage. And stay tuned 'cause I cannot wait to open the doors to the Picture Love community, where we can all get to know each other in real time, where we can all share our journeys, where we can support each other, where we can remember to lay down the expectations and just be. Until next time, keep Picturing Love, friends. I love you. Bye-bye.