Welcome back to Picture Love. Friends, this is not at all the episode I had planned for you today, but sometimes things present themselves and just need to come to the front of the line of our attention. I was walking the dogs this morning. It's a gorgeous January morning where I love it live, it was very mild. -Yes, I love where I live- and I was listening to a poem read by a friend of mine that she had written during some darker times, and she was sharing from her heart vulnerably and beautifully about some healing that she had done, and there was one phrase of that poem that stood out to me and stuck with me. And I started to journal about it, and then I started to realize that there was something in me that remembered what she was talking about. And so we've all had different walks of life. We've all had different versions of some very common threads. And this was one where she was reflecting on being younger and the quote I'm extracting from this poem was, "it was safer to be needed than to be loved". Doesn't mean she wasn't loved. Doesn't mean she didn't know of love. But putting. One's self and a place of service to others in order to earn that love is what came to mind for me. And I've done a lot of healing over some of those tendencies. You know, the people pleasing and we all have different versions of whatever we're going through. So I won't even begin to say, I know how she feels because. I, I listened to her and didn't identify with everything that she shared, but she reawakened something that I was familiar with as a result of sharing that poetry. And so I wanted to share with you what came out of identifying with my version of that little piece of what she shared. And maybe it'll wake something up in you that you've been needing to find as well. Or maybe look back on and measure how far you've come. So I don't mean to dismiss anybody's pain by trying to yank them out of it. We all have our times. We have to give ourselves permission to work through things in our own ways. But one of the ways that I have found a lot of success, pulling myself out of certain holes, emotional holes, is through a, of course, timing is everything. You know, we have to. Have a degree of readiness, but it's through a process that I learned from hearing some of the Abraham Hicks material. I don't know if you're familiar with that or not, but Esther Hicks is the, the voice of this consciousness, Abraham. And while in the state of sharing this consciousness in front of private audiences as well as public. Esther has been known for sharing these rampages of gratitude, kinda like building more gradually and increments moving up the emotional scale to go from a really, you know, low vibration, place. You know, from hopelessness from despair, from sort of those lo emotions up until gradually choosing thoughts for just which are incrementally better and better. And so that's become a common request at a lot of these events from her live audiences. Their live audiences. And, and so I've listened to a bunch of them on, on YouTube. I've never seen them in person, but my takeaway was just gradually choosing thoughts or just a measure better. And not to gaslight myself but to acknowledge, you know, what I've gone through, where, where I am and the steps of, of feeling better. And so I came up this morning with the idea of giving myself a word ramp. You know, like a gradual progression. And so I'm gonna call this a word ramp and maybe there's a more elegant phrase or title for it, but I'm reading from my journal, and when you read from your journal, there's no right or wrong. Just take what resonates for you. And this is what really has been percolating in my heart today to share with you. And so in my word ramp, I thought it would be really, really important to start with the statement that that has that emotional starting place, and in this case, the phrase, it is safer to be needed than to be loved. And, and I, it's really important to state that out loud, whether it's to yourself or on paper. But to acknowledge it as the thing that I want to and have healed to any degree. And so that is the starting place where the word ramp comes in. To go from this, to a healed, self through phrases. So my step up from acknowledging that is what needs some healing is a recognition statement. And that would be, in this case, I came up with, "I learned that being needed felt safer than being loved. Usefulness felt like security". So I'm basically telling that version of myself who felt that way. This is what that was. Not defending it, but recognizing its presence. Then the next step up the ramp would be self-compassion. And my version of that was "that wasn't love, that was survival in disguise. I see now how tired I was always proving my worth". So giving myself self-compassion instead of berating myself for being dummy. Don't be a doormat. That's not what the, that's not healing, that is alienating. So the next step on the word ramp would be honoring the protector in this case. "I did the best I knew to keep myself safe. I thank that part of myself that wore helpfulness as armor". So it's, instead of beating up on the ego, it's, it's thinking that those measures that were the best I knew how at the time. Then the next step was clarity. "Love doesn't need proof. I am not loved for what I give. I am loved because I exist". And that's not self-inflating. That's just reverence for the presence of my life. The next step I came up with was like a pattern reframe. "Being loved is not a risk. Being needed isn't a threat. Both can coexist while I'm whole and healed without reducing myself". So that's the, the reframe. Then the reframe is kind of like in the head thing, but to bring it into the heart to embody this would be the next step in the word ramp. So from there, "I fill my cup and I give joyfully from the overflow. I am love and I am safe". So that gives us permission that, you know, offering somebody love, offering somebody helpfulness does not mean that we have to reduce ourselves. And then that felt really good, but it didn't feel finished. So the next step in the word ramp to me is gratitude. "Thank you. Old pattern for trying to protect me. Now I can release you because I remember now. I am love and I expand beyond your walls". And that still didn't quite feel finished. So think of it as a, taking that initial place and reframing it for the final step up the ramp. And that is, you could call it the crowning reframe. It is safe to be loved. It's okay to be needed. I lovingly honor my heart's needs and freely give from my overflow". They're gradual steps. There's lots and lots of overlap, but to me, reading that in order just felt like I was climbing out of a hole- verbally. So to speak. So I, I hope that that offers a, not necessarily formula, but if you like formulas, you can use it or a recipe. I named each step on that word ramp thinking that as we apply it to other things, you know, if we ever hear ourselves say something like, I am so stupid for driving three hours south when I should have been driving three hours west, and now I'm farther away from where I wanted to go than when I even began. That's something I heard today from somebody I love and it, it broke my heart because I could just hear the deep frustration. But to say "I'm so stupid". It's, it's one of those wounding things that if, if we say it, our brains are listening and our bodies are hearing that. And I never want any of us to carry more trauma and more pain than we need to. So maybe the word ramp can apply to another, truth- what is perceived as a truth that's actually holding us back, keeping us small, putting us in a box. Whether it's in service of somebody else, or just not stepping into our authenticity because we have learned a pattern that kept us small or kept us something inauthentic or kept us, controllable or kept us safe enough for somebody else to be around. Yeah, there's just so many ways where I'm, I'm finding more and more pedals in the bloom that, that maybe I thought should have been a certain way and now pulling back these pedals or as the bloom opens up, I should say, discovering that what I thought I should be- isn't. I need to stop "shoulding" on myself. Anybody else relate to that? So I'm gonna put that in the show notes as as the formula, my word ramp formula, and I might phrase it in a way that somebody needs today to use just to listen on a car ride or maybe to help you journal out something that really doesn't feel good and you know it's not truth, but you're, you're stuck in, in that muck. You know, that emotional quicksand that we find when we're willing to get really honest with ourselves. It's so much easier to hear it in somebody else, isn't it? It's so easy to identify a loophole or a snag in somebody else than to actually look in the mirror and see it in ourselves. And so by suggesting, we all have that presence to listen to our own words and, and decide is that helping? That might be how you feel, but is that really truth? Maybe it's truth in that moment, but not really in the context of who we are. So I would love to be the permission slip for somebody to get real with themselves and cut loose from some of those traps that we find ourselves in. So this thought thread has brought me full circle back to a lesson I shared. A couple episodes back that I thanked 2025 for helping me learn. One of them was that being is doing. You know, like, 'cause I call myself a doer. I just, I love to be helpful. I love to be creative. I love to find solutions to circumstances that, you know, cause some unrest and I like to help. I love to transform situations for myself or those that I love to bring ease, comfort, and, and to show it's, it's an act of love .But honoring the fact that my presence and my attention and my love does not have to require bruises and sweat on my brow. That just by giving somebody my attention and, and my intention of love. Is an act of doing. It is an act of love. And, I feel like that's so related to the topic of, of earning love. And not the same but easily part of it in certain circumstances. And so I wrote this in my, in my journal, I wanted to share with you. Usefulness doesn't have to have any ties to worth or love other than as an outward expression of love, flowing as energy of love with no requirements, debt, payments, or justifications. And so if I were to declare a love statement of affirmation to my friend. This is, this is what it would sound like: "You are loved because you exist. You are needed because you're here. You are loved and needed because you exist on purpose. If you weren't needed in this life, you wouldn't be here. Part of your purpose is to be the love that you already are. That is needed. Always has been, always will be. You are precious. You are loved because you are love". And then I came up with a mantra. And I hope that this episode lands in the ears and in the hearts of those who need it today. But here's the mantra that I wanna offer you, for yourself or for the person that you know needs to hear it So please do pay it forward. "I am, I am here. I am love. I am love visibly here. I am". I hope that that helps somebody ground into the truth of their true self today. And I loved this so much. I'm gonna be posting those and. I feel like this, this could be the, the encouragement that could land in somebody's inbox today. And I, and I, I'll confess since I closed down my business, I have this email list that has been just sitting there, neglected, you know, collecting digital dust. And I think it's a new year. It's a fresh start and in celebration of a milestone for picture love, which I haven't shared with you yet. I've decided to celebrate the new year by resurrecting and starting with a fresh slate: an email list just for the Picture Love Collective. the audience, the the people who come to picture love for encouragement and positive thoughts and support, and to be part of raising each other up. And so I am going to be setting it up. I will put a link asking you if you have received emails from me, in the past, will you please resubscribe? I'm starting from scratch. I am not going to spam anybody's inbox. I will send out one email to the existing list and invite people to come over to the fresh start. If they do not respond. They will not get more email from me. I don't believe in spamming. I believe in encouraging. I want to be part of a solution. I want to offer light where it's needed. And I'm not here to blind somebody with headlights in their eyes that they did not need. So if you would like to receive picture love in your inbox, please go to the show notes and subscribe. And the milestone I didn't mention yet, so. As of now, picture Love Podcast has been trademarked. The logo, the name, Picture Love. I'm so, so proud of this. It's something that has been filed for two years now, and now it's official. And I do have some very special projects that I am looking to roll out this year. I'm calling in those creative collaborations that can help get this off the ground because I know this is so much bigger than just Kris LeDonne. This is a collective ready to assemble, and I do ask you to not only subscribe, but please if something resonates, it makes you think of a person. Will you please forward the link to this show? We are on YouTube and all the audio players as well, but from my heart to yours I thank you for being here. If you are still listening, oh, you are truly part of my collective. Thank you so much. You're not mine. We are each other's. We are part of a shared collective of love filled people on a meaningful journey together. So let's be the permission slip somebody else needs today. And I hope that that word ramp also supports somebody who needs to be held because this is the space where we learn and we love and we grow and we celebrate every step in the process. That's how I picture love. All right. That's it for today. I'll catch you next time, so don't forget. Go to the show notes for all the goodies and, above all, I love you. Keep picturing love.