Welcome back to Picture Love Friends. I'm so glad you're here. I say that every time, but I've never meant it more. More and more every time. If you were here with me last week, um, perhaps you clicked the link and downloaded my freebie for"Seeds of Appreciation". I gave that as a gift, as a, as a takeaway for a deep conversation I had with you about ways I was not showing up in my authenticity. I was not willing to show myself incomplete and then I, and, and then all the reasons why I wasn't beating myself up, but ways that I'm celebrating greater awareness. And, and in my journey, one of the gifts I've been given is the ability to actually recognize it in other people around me. You know, we're all mirrors, right? We reflect what we see, in ourselves, in other people, and I'm hoping that this episode will actually bridge a gap that I didn't realize I was creating in this conversation. And so I am, I'm very hopeful that this will support somebody where they are right now. So about appreciation and showing up unfinished. I wanna first acknowledge some listeners felt inspired. Some felt,"I am just not there yet" and I hope they won't hesitate to go download the freebie so it's there and available for them when it's, when it's ready. I'll put it in the show notes again for this episode. But both experiences belong in this space. Whether you feel inspired and you're ready to use that or, or do something else that. Fills that need better or if, if you're just not there. And so this episode is for the ones who are still tender, they're still tired, or maybe they're even stuck in a story they don't know how to step out of yet. And. I say this because every single one of us is here to learn a different lesson and we can go through the same experience and have totally different experiences. But a lot of it comes down to our growth comes from our healing. And many of us think healing means re-explaining our entire backstory so others will get it well. That I, I've come to realize is it comes from a deep longing to be understood. It's not a weakness. It doesn't make you a negative person. It doesn't make you a victim. But there is a loop that can happen out of that deep desire to be understood, to be seen, to be heard. And that often normalizes the pattern. And I'm not here to give any shame. I mean, I've watched people stay in grief loops for years. Not because they're broken, but because no one had taught him how to feel without repeating. And I will never suggest that my advice, uh, is to be taken over any medical professional and that goes for mental health professions. But here are some truths that I'm uncovering and I hope that it lifts somebody up today. Grief lives in both the body and the mind. And when they work together. Healing becomes possible, lasting deep healing. I say this, but they don't heal in the same way. And a lot of our, well my observations are dealing with the head, the mind, the thinking, the feeling, the emotions, all the stuff we label as the head. But then we ignore the body and you know, you find things like. TMJ and, and, posture issues and arthritis and tension or falls that don't have to be so life altering, but they are because we're so tense. And the mind is the part of the body that retells that story again and again, hoping this time somebody will understand or be able to fix it or shine a light on how to fix it, but healing. From my perspective, it comes from a presence, not a repetition. So if we take it from the standpoint, truth opens us repetition and closes us. Truth brings relief, repetition brings exhaustion. Truth moves us forward, and repetition keeps us stuck. Keeps us in place. And while it's beautiful to be rooted in loving ways, we don't wanna be rooted in loops of pain and grief. So I'm gonna pause for just a second and let's see if that lands. And I come to you with compassion. There's never judgment, but I would love to talk with you today about the distinction between presence versus looping. So presence being the softening, the breath, dropping actually an intentional breath, emotional movement, looping feels more like tightening the jaw. I mentioned before, guilty exhaustion. You know,"it's 5:00 PM and I'm just, I'm done. I have to go to bed" or"I've been here before". Or just the repetitive helplessness and frustration. Let me, let me tell you, first of all, it's not your fault. It is a pattern of protection because. The ego wants to keep us safe, right? And what's safer than already having all the answers, right? So sometimes it's, it's easier to stay in pain in a pain loop than to step out into the unknown and the ego saying,"no, wait, wait. We haven't checked it for danger yet. Danger, danger. Until further notice, any change is dangerous", right? That's what the ego is saying, that mind is always working so hard for us, and meanwhile, the body's just getting more and more tired So I have three follow up questions that may be a gentle bridge for the person who needs it most. So the first question I have for you is:"really what feels true for me you) right now, without needing to fix or justify it?" So it's truly putting on like a scientist's glasses or goggles and just observing the presence of what feels true? Now, keep in mind, I'm not asking you to define it. I'm saying feel. Check your emotions, check your body. Enter the present moment instead of the whole story. Just in a nutshell, in one breath, what feels true right now, and sometimes that truth has nothing to do with the circumstances right in front of us. True? So then give that a moment. Now, the second question I have is,"where is the truth living in my body and can I soften it just there?" Can I soften it there just 1%? For me if it's not my jaw or my slouch, it's letting my belly relax. Noticing where is it living in my physical body? That keeps us attached to our bodies, not detached. I had a coach once, and I'm sorry if I'm repeating myself, but I thought it was so funny and yet so true, said"Kris, your head is so detached from your body. It's like your head's on a balloon, a helium balloon floating away above and there's your body down on the ground and your head has no idea what's going on in your body. And your body has no idea what's going on in your head.'cause it, they're just to separate." So don't be a balloon head like me. Let's have. Awareness of what's going on in our bodies. And the third question, what do I need permission for right now? And can I give myself a tiny bit of that permission today?" So it builds inner safety. It moves us out of a dependence and old narratives, but it opens you up to"what do I really need?" And I'm not talking about like numbing. You didn't, we know what numbing behaviors are. Talking about, what do we need so we don't feel the desire to numb. What do we need so we don't feel the desire to, to loop back again? What do we actually need permission for right now? Is it okay to accept how I feel right now knowing it's gonna pass I invite you to pause and breathe. Maybe even pause this episode and come back to these questions later if you need to. But that is my bridge gift to you. If there's a gap where we left off last week. You know I have introduced those spirit guides, Riven, Elira and Soraya. They are probably the most impactful characters I've introduced so far in my life to the picture love platform. Riven says the loop is not the enemy. It's a familiar room. You're scared to leave it, not because you're weak, but because you don't know what's outside yet. And I know I mentioned that, but that's some, that's an awareness Riven brings to this conversation. And Elira that one who just sits there and holds space, the master space holder says Beloved, don't rush. Let your breath guide you. Your pain isn't wrong. It's simply tired. You love Elira and Soraya. Soraya taught me that healing doesn't begin when the pain disappears. Healing begins the moment you loosen your grip on the version of you who first felt that pain. I love that. Together, they taught me you don't have to be fully healed in order to leave the loop. You just have to be willing. And we can't be willing if we're not aware, right?"We will meet you in the step you take" is the message that they delivered my heart. And I think that that's, that's really what picture love is here for. Where we can meet each other in the next step we need to take. We can do it alongside of each other. I'm calling in those friends. I'm calling in that soul family who's willing to come alongside of me and, and do, let's each do our own work in the company of one another. Let's hold space for each other so that we can be vulnerable. We can be incomplete. We can be real. And help each other feel safe to step outside of the loops. And we all have our own. I'm just saying in a, in a pain loop where the thought of practicing something like appreciation, which brings so much joy and freedom and creativity to my experience- I just want so much for that to be in reach for those who wish for it. And I'm not gonna tell you what you should feel. I'm not gonna tell you what you want to feel. That's for each one of us to decide for ourselves. But wherever you are, let it be said. Wherever you are is not a failure. It's an honest beginning. And I invite you to carry that golden coin with you wherever you are. It's not a failure, it's an honest beginning. Let's all celebrate the small steps, the tiny offerings, the gentle truth, that 1% more openness. Because you're not behind, you're becoming and you're not doing it alone. Until next time, keep picturing love and again, check the show notes if you did not get those seeds of appreciation. Freebie, it's waiting for you with love from me. See you next time.