Welcome back friends. This is the third triplet of this series on finding freedom in letting go. And today I wanna talk about letting go of mental pressure, external conditions, especially attached to other people's happiness. So. Literally, I am dedicating this to anybody who has any energetic attachments or scars regarding people pleasing. And if that's not you, I guarantee you know, somebody who is afflicted and I am standing from a place of empowerment because I have healed a lot of that. And I wanna be the permission slip for somebody today to either show up with more grace for another person, or show up with more grace for yourself. Are you ready? Here we go. The freedom to release conditions, especially the happiness of other people: in the past year, I've probably lost count of the number of times I've told my husband. He is not responsible for my happiness. I am. And I do it out of love because, oh my gosh. Okay, so I grew up not cooking much. I grew up with a lot of other chores and so I'm not afraid to cook, but I'm not motivated to cook unless I have a recipe I really wanna make. And then I go and meet this guy who loves to cook for me. So that was a big brownie point while dating my husband back in the day. He loves to cook. I love to buy him nice gifts. Nice tools, nice cookware. He takes pride in keeping his knives sharp. Yes, they need to get sharpened and I hear about that. And I didn't grow up with any brothers, but I grew up with a very handy dad who got it from his grandfather. And I am very comfortable with power tools. So there are times when friends giggle with us and new friends look at us funny because there are some things that, you know, society has deemed wife roles and husband roles. We don't march to those beats in this house. Anyway, I digress. So I love that he enjoys cooking and he enjoys having his food enjoyed. I feel the same way when I bake my blueberry pies. I wanna see it being enjoyed by other people. It's satisfying to make something I, I really enjoy and, and finding other people to enjoy it with me. There was a real big, big hurdle I completed in our recent relocation. I'm speaking, and the last, well, let's say it actually dates back a couple years. When my husband first found out his company was moving from the Bronx, New York, down to Florida, we thought he was going to have to move with them or find another job. And he was very shocked when I said, when do we have to do it? And the fact that I jumped on board and I said, I think it's time. We had a two year warning that it was coming and what was so favorable about it was one of our kids had graduated from high school and left the state, and the other one was coming up, and we wouldn't have to, I mean, we didn't have to move, okay? But in order to make this more, most logical, it would not happen until after our youngest daughter graduated high school, which was ideal timing. Now there's been a lot of strife. For both of my kids coming up in this school system. They, they were met with a lot of haters. Not everybody's like that. And I made a lot of, let's just say I was the one of the four of us that made the most friends where we lived, that I. Hmm. I don't know if that's a really fair statement. My kids had way more friends than they actually counted, but I was the one who was most conscious of the friendships made while we lived in New Jersey. Yeah, I think that's the fair way to, to. Rephrase that. But anyway, we thought that the youngest graduating high school was the cleanest place to make that move, and it was done with a lot of love. There was nothing spontaneous about this. It was my husband's job had an opportunity to become a better work environment. We thought a change in scenery. He was done with New Jersey. Me, I love change and it, we, it had been a long time since we had changed where we lived and it was time and we saw it coming, but then all of a sudden it's senior year of high school and things were really rocking and rolling. They were really, really busy. For my youngest, my oldest was still outta state, you know, um, also a senior. No junior in college. Anyway, there was a lot going on and there was a long runway of things that we needed to do in order to prepare ourselves to list the house. And we started house hunting a year before we actually moved and we were actually under contract for a house in Florida and that fell through and so. I guess we could have waited till last minute to accomplish what we ended up doing, but it gave us, I guess, a sense of excitement. It fed the building excitement about the new chapter by flying down to Florida and house hunting and you know, rolling that into the events that Rick had to attend, was attending as part of his. Then at that point, his job description. And uh, so we were playful about it, but when it came down to it, our house was ready to list and we didn't know where we were gonna live. And it was literally a week before it went on the market, when my husband and I were sitting on the sofa one Sunday morning saying, well, if we don't live in Florida, where do we wanna live? That's really how it went. So I'm walking the dog and I come across a neighbor I hadn't seen in many months, and she says, why not check out Myrtle Beach? And then two more conversations that day with people unrelated meant to check out Myrtle Beach. Why not Myrtle Beach? I'd only been to Myrtle Beach once when I went to school in North Carolina, and that was spring break. So that's not, that's not Myrtle Beach, you know. That's rowdy College kids at Spring Break, which I didn't even live that version of it, but, so Rick said, well go check it out. So I booked a flight and went down, flew, and I just, okay, universe, how easy can this be? Okay, God, just roll out the red carpet if this is gonna be where we live next, make it easy. And everything fell into place. Everything fell into place. I let go of trying to make everybody happy about the timing, about the place, about the dah, dah, dah, dah, and for a minute I put a pause on all of those external expectations and I said, okay, God, how easy can this be? If Myrtle Beach is a good idea, show me from the start. Well, I get to the car rental place at the airport and they didn't have my reservation available, but she said, would it be okay if I give you a convertible? Okay, the sun was shining, it was 70 degrees out. What am I gonna say? No. She says to me, would you like the Mustang or I said, okay. So I went house hunting for two days. And a Mustang convertible Poor me, right? The everything from there. It just, the carpet unrolled. And by not going there stressing about is this gonna work? What if my kids are gonna get upset? What about, you know, the little one, she was thinking we were gonna be in Florida now we're not gonna be in Florida. And we, you know, I, I didn't have a single thought for 48 hours in South Carolina and I ended up finding. The easiest resolution was not to buy another house, it was to rent a house and give us space to choose. Are we really gonna stay here forever or is this gonna be a really fun year at the beach while we find our next forever home? And that's exactly what happened. I asked for a long runway, got a 13 month lease. We started house hunting again, found something the same day. I found a realtor who I love, and I said, can you help us buy this house? I wanted to make it easy for her because it was easy for me, and then I found a beautiful friend in the process. So here we are, and in one more week the house is gonna be vacant 'cause the sellers rented it from us for a couple months and demolition will start soon. We'll have new ceilings, new walls, new flooring, and a new kitchen. And I've never once. Lived in a place where I get to choose what it looks like and I don't have to live through demolition. We live in a nice, clean, safe, newish house that we're renting until that. And it feels indulgent to share this with you because I've never experienced such ease. Now, circling back to the letting go of external pressures. The minute I started saying, boy, I hope my kids are happy here. Oh, I hope my kids like it here. Then all of a sudden I invited all of the resistance to come back in, and sure enough, I got an earful that same day. I had these thoughts. I get an earful from my kid about how hard it was to not come home to New Jersey, you know, during this first year out of the nest and. And I realized, oh my gosh, she just needed to get it out. She just needed to get it out. There is no good, easier time to move. Move is change, and whether the change happens after graduation, before graduation, after conservatory, before it- Change is change. I cannot decide how my daughter experiences it. I can just show up as the best version of myself and give her space to find whatever she needs to work through. And I don't know, this might be funny for her to listen to at some point. But- I'm super proud of how she landed on her feet. I'm super proud of how both of them landed on their feet in this new age because both of them graduated one college and one conservatory at the same in the same month this year. So basically from the time we listed our house in New Jersey to a year later. Our lives are a hundred percent different for all of us. All of us. And it'll be so interesting. I kind of, I kind of wish I took a, a before picture. I'll have to go back through my camera roll and choose something from that date and do it then and now side by side. And, and see where we are. Those little snapshots, you know, I don't know if you live in Facebook or not. I made an account many, many moons ago, and every once in a while it'll show me a memory from seven years ago or something. I think that when we are in this house, let's just say this, my birthday in September. That'll be a really cool thing. I think that the September 2024 picture compared to the September, 2025 picture will look like the same time jump as when Facebook says, look at this memory 11 years ago today. That's how drastic the change has been for my family and I really feel like we are better for it. So if you are facing any massive changes, maybe it'll make you feel good to put the thought in your pocket, your mental pocket today, to let go of those outside external conditions and just be responsible for your own happiness. And to give space to other people to find theirs in their own time. I hope that that's helpful to somebody today. Because honestly, each one of us is already enough right now where we are, and tomorrow will be enough for that moment. But today, let's just stay present and picture love right here, right now. What do you say? So if I could give you a gift right now. A thought gift that could set you up for an even more fabulous next minute that would be: in your mind or out loud and you, you gotta say it with your whole heart. Okay? So whenever you're ready, take a deep breath, feet flat on the floor, feel the ground underneath you. Say thank you. Thank you for the support and say out loud or in your heart, universe, or God, or whatever your authority is, that feels the best to say life. "Show me how good it can get." Yeah, and just mean it. And then listen. Listen for the next song. Look for the next butterfly that nearly touches your face. Notice how good it can get and repeat it as often as you need to. Hey, life, how good can it get right now? And go with that and let that be how you picture love in your life for YOU right now. Because that's what you deserve and nothing less. I love you. See you next time. Keep picturing love.