So I've got a question for you. Have you recently undergone either a whole lot of changes, or you're approaching some, or have you found yourself going in and out of stages of overwhelm and Maybe a little bit of an inner tug of war over expectations, either for yourself or for circumstances or your expectations of other people. Well, if so, this conversation is going to resonate. As I'm recording this episode of picture love, I am going through a house hunt, process with my husband and it's not just looking for a new home. It's the emotional process of coming to terms with saying goodbye to a house that we have called home for over 20 years. It's bittersweet. It's exciting. It's something we're choosing to do. It's not something we're forced into. So that's wonderful. But when you layer in the fact that we are approaching empty nest and our kids are going to be at both out in the world and not coming home after work or coming home after a school day that's a whole lot of change. My husband and I, um, spent four days scoping out what areas we want to, buy in. And, and I went down to Florida really believing we were going to find the house, the house of where we're supposed to be, or at least the house of our dreams for the next chapter of life. And we came back, not ready to make any offers on anything, but. There was so much good that happened in the unfolding of that trip for the discovery. Now, the reason I'm telling you this is not to boohoo me or to whatever. I'm just sharing that everybody's going through their own versions of change decision and maybe facing their inner expectations, so. One of the little adventures, adjustments in my expectations was with the TSA, you know, airport security. I love flying. I have loved flying since I was a little girl, and not everybody can relate, but I do. And I invested in some of the bells and whistles so I don't have to take my shoes off going through security, you know, and, and this, that, and the other, but those conveniences that I bought to afford me a little bit more ease, just sailing through have been pretty much moot because I've been on this perfect streak of random Security checks. I mean, what's random when it's literally nine flights in a row? And I may sound like I'm complaining, but I'm actually in awe of that streak. And I said something getting through security and the officer was, gave me a smile and a nod, and I said, I'm not a random check. And he looked at me like, what? And I said, I just broke my streak. I can't believe it. I've got TSA, I've got pre check, I've got clear and I don't have to have the random search and he says, no, you're good. And he says, actually, that was such a good streak maybe you should play the lottery. And the funny thing is, I didn't even think I thought of that streak as a negative streak and he was seeing it as a lucky streak. Talk about a shift in perspective. So where I'm going with this is I keep asking the universe. What are ways? that this can, I can just enjoy the unfolding and I can find greater ease and I can do these jobs better and with more fun with my clients. Uh, what is the easiest possible way we can find some resolution? And so these are some of the questions of brought me a whole lot of release. And I'm realizing this falls under the umbrella of releasing and adjusting expectations as a form of self care. It's not even something that occurs to me because we're raised in a very analytical society, you know, there are rules, there are procedures, there are expectations, there are institutions that it's basically created to educate, inform, medicate, direct. Masses, right? I mean, I'm grateful for traffic lights. I'm grateful for things that keep us safe. I'm grateful for laws that, you know, make sure that buildings are structurally sound. I'm grateful for the efforts that have been made with the intention for the better good, but. All of these rules are a great way of conditioning our brain to set certain expectations and to honestly judge and evaluate every single thing. Is this good? Is this bad? Is this something positive? Is this something negative? All of those assessments, those judgments in our heads, are part of expectations, right? So, I have a question for you. What would it look like to release expectations? And so I don't know if you're a journaler, but I'm going to recommend you grab a piece of paper if you're not. And if you're driving, maybe come back to this and, and listen to it. But I have some questions that I've been asking myself and it has just been so. Fascinating to unpack and it does come back to picture love. Here are some of the questions. Would it look like to release expectations? What would it look like to listen to your heart first, identify how we want to feel before deciding what we want to do. Now, having a thought is an action. It is. We get to choose our thoughts. Just like we get to choose to eat, to walk, to stand. Our thoughts are something we have so much more control over than we have been programmed to really be aware of, right? So what if we listen to a desire, how we want to feel, and give emotions the value that they have been stripped from, and let that emotion become the compass? That helps us decide how we take our next thought, our next words, our next actions. That compass is, is going to help us make better decisions that align with our desired outcome of our day and collectively our week, our month, our lives. But let's just dial it back to this one moment. To think about these feelings is an action to think about a fresh perspective for something that we may be avoiding. Let's look at something like, okay, I work with clients in their pictures, right? The ones who choose to do the work and go in and face whatever it is that's bothering them. But there are tasks, whether it's, you know, sorting pictures or something else that are so easy to avoid. If we're stuck in the overwhelm, we're stuck in the feelings of despair or the grief or the guilt or the overwhelm. Or just all of those things. And instead of focusing on those, let's focus on how we want to feel. Ease, joy, encouragement, optimism, to feel free, to be able to breathe with ease, to enjoy these pictures or this task without fear and guilt and all those other negative things we've already addressed. So if we know how we want to feel and let's. Literally connect with that feeling and let that feeling be our compass, then maybe we can choose a different way to look at it, you know, just like that TSA officer, you know, here, I thought I was being picked on when in fact he was saying I was kind of lucky, right? So if I want to feel good about the state of my pictures, then I can start to look at them with, hmm. What do I love about them? Maybe the fact that I have these pictures is evidence that I have had some really beautiful experiences and beautiful people. What if, what if this backlog is actually an abundance of evidence of my blessings. All of a sudden, it's a lot less repelling to look closer at our blessings than it is to look at our clutter. Thoughts? So coming back to the journaling, what would it look like for you to release expectations that are getting in the way of like these better thoughts to find fun. In the list, like, you know, there's some things you feel like you need to do or somebody told you have to do, what could be fun about that? Because if you want to feel good and you want to feel ease and you want to feel free to move through things, then having a list that actually you're choosing you get to do instead of you have to do, that adds a little bit more ease. What if we could be curious about any task? And even the most mundane things. And be curious, you know, something tactile like, folding laundry. And just, you know, what are the different textures feel like you do it, you zip it, you put it away. And if somebody else does your laundry for you, God bless you. Maybe, while going through that and choosing what to wear, maybe you approach it with curiosity and you find the treasures in it, the appreciation for how something feels, the appreciation for brighter light to see what you're doing. Um, the pre appreciation for maybe some less. Less good light, some dimmer lighting that actually lets you rely on your senses of touch and smell. And how does this make my body feel to touch this actual material? These are ways that we can be curious about our tasks and reframe them. And allow ourselves to really value our emotions, our emotions and how our bodies physically respond to them. And then by choosing to wear something that makes you feel the way you want to feel, adds more momentum behind that intention, that decision. And then you can release the expectations that have been burdening you, that this is hard. And you'll start to train yourself to notice, Hmm, this is getting easy. There's more ease in my day. Ask yourself, what if this task was far easier than I have ever imagined? What if? Honor your desires and open up to the inspiration release expectations about how things are supposed to look and when they're supposed to be done by and, explore the child like possibilities. And if you're like me and you have discovered that it's kind of fun to look at yourself when you were younger now, it's a really beautiful way of Noticing how much you've learned since then and speaking to yourself with the same tenderness you would a child you really love, right? Why don't we turn that on ourselves? Why isn't that normal for us to look at ourselves the way we do a child we absolutely cherish? I know that some of you have already done this and I applaud you for that and I thank you for your role model that you have been for me. But I think this is something that we continue to hone our skills with to face each day with the wonder of a child. Choose a random photo from your camera roll. Before you look at it, I want you to ask yourself, what is one opinion or belief I have about this photo? Does it serve me well And if not, what thought is also true that I could put my focus on and feel a little bit better than dwelling on my double chin? What if I could focus on a feature that you you Know is a strength and all of a sudden you feel better when your focus is in something positive and then that feeds that emotion. So grab that photo from your camera roll and look at it with a fresh perspective One that connects you back to how you really want to feel. Imagine your little self, this adorable little child drew you a picture. Would you say, that doesn't look like me? Or would you say, You must be so proud of yourself. Look what you did. Look at how great you captured this moment. Look at the beautiful colors you chose. Are you so proud of yourself? You should be. This is fun. Hey, what else can you show me? And literally honor your inner child and then maybe learn to speak to your Now self the same way. I think these are beautiful ways that we can release expectations of ourselves and then turn that on the rest of the world. Now, coming back to my travel, when I got home, there was a list. I was very clear about it. And the list was done, but not maybe the way I would do it. And I had to unpack more of my expectations. I expected certain humans to do certain things a certain way, because I expected, I asked so little in my opinion, but they have their own perspectives and challenges and intentions and expectations of their days. So. No, it wasn't done the way I wanted, but once I caught myself feeling like garbage and I realized, you know what? They did it their way. Why would I want them to be like me? They're not me. They're them. Anyway, I love my people and I think one of the best things I can do to picture love into my life, including them, is to expect. That they're going to have their own way of doing things. And that is okay. So coming back to the releasing expectations and loving myself, loving myself is one way. I get to love on them better and be the example of picturing love that I want them to be free to do in their lives. And I hope that you will have a little, a meaningful little brain dump either in your journal or on a scrap of paper and asking yourself today, what would it look like if to release some of your expectations. And what would the freedoms that come from that allow you to be and to feel and to experience in your day? I love you. And I really hope that this helps you today. And I'd love to hear what expectations you've decided to tweak or completely release. See you next time.