Hi friends. This episode is more like an excerpt of picture love podcast. It's a piece of a conversation I shared with you last week with my friend who. is so inspiring. The name of that episode is the divine art of receiving with guest Dot Rock. And she chose the phrase, glimmers, sparkles, and glimmers to refer to points of light, high points during difficult times. Well, She also took some time to go deep into the emotional value of her photos and the significance of her photos during tough times, she shares some themes of love and trauma and self-reflection and I thought it was just special enough to deliver in its own episode. And so while I'm going to let you listen to that piece of our conversation. At the end of this excerpt, I'm going to share some tips that will help hopefully, or be helpful reminders to somebody who is facing some of these obstacles regarding managing their memories. And I'm so thrilled to bring this to you with no commercial break. We're jumping right in with Dot. Enjoy. You know this is my second divorce My son's dad and I divorced when he was one. And he is still the dear friend, and I'm staying in his condo that is empty right now. He has provided a place for us to live, and he has given me safety and security right now. But I have divorced twice now. This is, this will be my second divorce. And you know why I haven't dealt with my pictures from Dom's baby is because they're a shame, right? Because you have to face some memories that you're not sure you want to face. I am totally the person that when you break up with me, I'm deleting every picture I ever had of you. Right? Like you're erased in many ways. Like, and that's when we talk about, let's say boyfriends, but I'm not going to erase marriages. It is a profound time to lean on some support because a I have, I'm a doer, I'm an achiever. I like to get things done. And my 40, 000 pictures on my phone have not been taken care of for now 11 years because you know, life gets busy. There is an underlying resistance to that because I will have to face That marriage. And now I have a second marriage with a stepson that I'm losing, that all those memories matter. They do. They're not for nothing. We're not going to erase those. There was, there was deep love and beauty there once. Just because I can see red flags now, just because the dominoes make more sense now doesn't take away from the life we all lived together. And so that's where the pictures come in. And then, you know, if I dive deeper into that, what's another reason, what's my like, childhood trauma with pictures? There's childhood trauma there too, there's a reason I'm not dealing with my pictures. Well, you know, if, if the moment arrives where you'd like help, you know where to go, but I will never impose opinions and help consciously where it's not invited. I guarantee somebody listening to this has related to at least one or 200 of the points that you have shared so openly. Thank you for that gigantically open heart. It's like broken open. that's why you can see the light because we can't see something that we're not. You have to know light in order to see it. And you clearly recognize that, but if I could just put something out there, and if it's not for you, Dot, it's for somebody else listening. Those, those photos are obviously emotionally charged and thank you for, knowing that there's not pain attached to all of them. Thank you for knowing you get to choose when you're ready to deal with something or delegate something. Thank you for being an example of that, but there's nothing wrong and there is no shame when it comes to putting a certain era in a container so that you can just work on what feels easy and the low hanging fruit right now. Thank you for opening the conversation to a point where I can just say, I think we expect too much of ourselves. I know you, I know you've said that in your coaching as well and in your business and your advising and counseling. But that's where finding that trusted person or finding that right opening in your heart to know what it's time to do with something. But it doesn't mean you have to shut yourself off from Other easier photos. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's not all or nothing, right? Right. And photos are one thing. Yeah. But I mean, very similar to we don't hire support because of underlying childhood trauma, or we don't do X because of underlying trauma. I have that with photos. And it's not just about the marriages and the divorces and, you know, and it is about me being an achiever and why am I behind on organizing photos? And then, oh my gosh, what if I die? What, what, what will I be handing over to Dominic? And then. I look like if I get real still and quiet with my photo trauma, we can go back to my childhood. My mom is a photographer. She was never a photographer professionally. She should be. She never did anything professionally. She was a stay at home mom. She had mental illness. She was damaged and she hid behind her camera. She's still to this day hides behind her camera, even her phone. It's now her phone, right? We will go on a trip, be together and she'll pull out her phone and we show us pictures of something else while we're sitting there in a moment when we should be having a moment, she hides behind that, right? And so there's some pain for me with how my mom was always behind the camera. And there's some real joy for me and how my mom was always behind the camera. Because my mom was the one who photographed everything for me and my friends. And the only reason we have pictures from my childhood because that was before digital. This was film days. It's because of my mom's passion and because of my mom's trauma and because she hid behind the camera. But then she struggled with organizing her photos. Like these were all prints. And she had them lying all over our living room. We had these shelves on our dining room wall that were built in, they were lying all over each shelf, tiered shelves. And all over the dinner table for like three years For trying to organize them. She's a stay at home mom She couldn't do it. She couldn't tackle it. It was too traumatic for whatever reason, you know, she has adhd and She's obsessive compulsive And now she's a hoarder or was you know, so it's just like It's interesting to see her progression with photos and how that affected my life, like us not being able to sit at that dining room table because of those photos everywhere. And now here I am almost hoarding pictures, 40, 000 pictures on my phone. Right? Isn't that interesting that it's the same but different? Well, if I could just point out something really obvious for a second, the reason you're taking those pictures. Because you love your, your life, there's, there's beautiful things happening in front of you. So on the bright side, each one of those is evidence of blessings in your life. So not to be, I don't want to be toxically Susie Sunshine on you, but I just had to insert that thought. And what if, here's a fun question, you don't have to answer out loud. What if you're not as disorganized as you think? We have a.i. there's nothing wrong with a little keyword search and. Metadata is pretty useful meaning the information on the picture to tell us in the cell phone when it was taken, right? Or sometimes where it was, so as far as organizing digital photos, I really think the key with cell phones and the clouds is just deleting the bad ones because you don't have to put them in folders anymore. We have so many ways to search for them. Absolutely. But also let's not forget, I think sometimes, and in general, what we resist is either because it will help us grow or because we probably should be receiving support around it. Like it's not our zone of genius. I just, I know for me, the tasks that take me longer are either like things that will really raise the bar in my life, or things that I resist because it feels like a chore. A lot of people outsource bookkeeping because they think they will mess it up and there's no, like, it's the first thing they outsource, right? Thank you Dot for being so open. Thank you again. For sharing from your heart. So vulnerably and, and making it okay for others to share their stories too. And whether you're recording your stories in a public podcast to share with the world, or you're just writing them down in your journal. Congratulations to everybody. Who's willing to to tell their story and look at it with curiosity for the sake of learning. Because we can't heal something. If we don't know it's broken. And so the first step of it is truly the willingness to look at it and then taking steps to do that. And May is mental health awareness month. And I can't help, but. Come alongside of some of these thoughts. With compassion for mental health. There's one thing I really want to pull out of this conversation. And ruminate with you for just a moment. And if your situation is not photos, I guarantee, you know, something that this can apply to. But let's use the visual that Dot graciously allowed us to have of her mom with degrees of mental health challenges. And piles of photos all over the dining table that just sat there because she didn't know how to organize them. You know, when we say the word organize, we think of mental activities. But. Mental activities. When it comes to photos, our emotional activities and our mental health can get in the way of getting projects done, you know, of all kinds. So here is a tip that you can use, whether it's for your photos or something else. That is outstanding. Something, that's not complete something that you aspire to do something you want to tackle. And you might be actually. At the point where you're going to discover that you need to bring in. A professional to help you with whatever this task is a trainer, a coach, an organizer. You know, a therapist. I don't know what. You're translating this to. But I want to give you the idea, the suggestion of visualizing. I'm going to speak specifically to these piles of photos. So you can do the translating. But. I'm pretending I'm Dot right now, the best I can without actually having walked in her shoes. And I'm imagining the childhood trauma and resentment and pains and complaints and among the glimmers, you know, all the good and the bad, it's all peppered together in my, in my heart right now. And I want to do something about organizing those pictures, which translate to my current day collection. Right. So in my hypothetical visualization. Closing my eyes and getting my body really comfortable in a cozy chair. So I don't have to worry about anything else for just a moment. And I'm just going to allow myself to create that picture in my mind. Of the, all those. Lovely printed memories, just cluttering the round. Okay. And I want to tell a new story. I want to tell a story where I'm seeing my mom smiling and gathering these memories and inviting me to put them in a sort box. And gradually we just take index cards or sticky notes or whatever. Something with labels where we're going to put a family name on it. We're going to put a vacation name on it. And just gradually we're going through these and we're feeling so good about gradually a little at a time, putting them away. And for the sake of visualization, you can have this happen. Almost instantly. And then suddenly, what is it look like to see those memories talked away safely in sort boxes where they can be found because they're labeled. And then what does the room look like? Where the space was created. And then how does it feel that they are honored? And you can see them when you want to, and you can find them when you want to. And how does it feel that you're smiling and you're reminiscing with your mom? Or maybe wiping the tears from your cheeks, from the laughter that erupted unexpectedly from that process. What does that look like? I know that runners can visualize a run and they visualize crossing the finish line and they visualize the time. And they imagine the breaths they took or an athlete, which would visualize the play that they're going to do that they've practiced again and again, or the basketball player practices that shot in their minds, not just physically. Or the Gardner maps out where the plants are going to get be for their optimal sunlight, for the optimal, you know, growth space. They visualize in advance before actually going in. So if you're translating this story, Of visualizing with me. The process of actually having those memories protected and honored and tucked away and not full of all of the. OCD or the The hoarding or the feelings of guilt, but they're actually looking honored. You can actually feel a noticeable change in your body. So, I just want to offer you the tip of visualizing today before you do something that maybe you're dreading to do. And if you can't see that. Maybe invite a friend to talk about it. Maybe a sibling, maybe a mom, maybe a medical professional. You know, Your emotional health is so important. And at the end of the day, you are so much more important than any cluttered pile of photos. And the people that you love that are in those photos. You're honoring them by taking the chance to. Make a choice that makes you feel better. So today. Will you please help me remind somebody and maybe that somebody is you. That your emotional wellness, that your heart, that your soul are priceless. And that these photos do not have to compromise any of that sense of worth. And if you need that special person to help you tackle actual pictures. I hope you won't hesitate to reach out to me. To help you picture love better in your days. So with love and compassion and gratitude for listening, I'm going to sign off. And I'll catch you next time. On Picture Love.