0:38

Hello. Photo lovers and storytellers. I am so excited about this episode today of picture love because this conversation I've held with Catherine Garland was just. So warm and inviting and cozy. She has a beautiful story to tell. She is a mom. She is living the married life and she's lived and many, many parts of the world. And her unique perspective is something that you don't have to be a mom to relate to. The way she tells stories and we reminisce about times with our little children. Can actually be a beautiful comparison of how we can look inside ourselves. And treat our own inner child. So you do not have to be a parent to actually glean some compassion, love, and wisdom for oneself from this conversation. And there's a really special gift at the end. I don't mean the kind you can download. It's a gift of compassion for somebody who just needs to be soothed and can't seem to do it for themselves today. So. I hope that you will listen all the way through to the end. Enjoy the storytelling, the reminiscing, and the unique perspective that she offers. Because to spend time with Catherine is to really practice some beautiful self-care. So I will dive right in. I hope you love it.

Kris LeDonne 1:53

Catherine welcome to picture love podcast. Thank you. The new adventures that we take just really give us expansive opportunities for growth and connection and meeting such loving, amazing, vibrant humans during this process is probably my favorite part about podcasting. I thought I had something to share with the world. And then I realized that when I come alongside of somebody else with something to share. Together, what we have is so much bigger. Absolutely. It's the conversations and the connect. It does sound cheesy and corny, but it really is. It's about the people and it's just, it's so much fun to get to know people that I wouldn't have met otherwise. I just wouldn't have. I just want to give you a compliment because I made the intention that the only people that are going to share this space with me and my audience are people who resonate with a spirit of love. And that is just so evident in you and what you're creating. And I'm, I'm just so grateful that we were brought together in this this podcast bubble, a little choked up. Thank you. That's very kind. Before we talk about some of the picture stories that we've already intended to share today, would you give us a little teaser as to what your vision is today for your homespun podcast? Oh, thank you so much for asking that. Homespun to me is all about, I call it like home focused or home centric or home based living. And by that, I just mean making home the focus making cultivating this safe, nurturing space, whether it's in a physical home or just in your heart, but this safe space where everyone can be themselves. And. And grow to their fullest potential through all the ways that that that resonates with you. Like, some people are like, determined that it's like food first. They're going to they're going to homestead. We homestead and, you know, other people are determined that it's going to be. They're going to work from home because they want to be available, but they still want to work. It's it looks different for different people and it's just having that space and that safety and that It's more than just where you hang your hat. It's really just that, that centering the grounding for you so that you're safe to go out and do all the big things you're meant to do. That's beautiful. So who's part of your home it's my husband and my four amazing children. We're on a farm, and as much as we only have one pet, somehow, other animals seem to creep in here and there. They sneak in inside a coat pocket or what have you, so they seem to creep into the home. But I mean, I was always really militant about, no, no, outside stays outside, until we did this, because it just, it brings that, the kids so much. Much joy that it's, it's part of who they are now. So, I mean, I kind of love it now when I'm greeted and with a knock on the door and someone's got a chicken under their arm and a rabbit in a pocket and the kids, and they go to come in and grab a snack. I'm like, ah, okay, just hopefully nothing poops on my kitchen floor. Yes, please. Oh, that's so funny. We don't want chickens on the kitchen counter. No, they don't put them down. This is for humans. This food is for humans. Yeah. So it's, it's mostly my children. Are the focus for me right now. And like they, they make anywhere there I'm good. And then, I mean, my poor husband seems to come fifth, but he's there too. He's your OG. He was there first. Yeah, exactly. We all make space. You know? You had mentioned to me that you've made home in many places in your marriage and, and parenthood. Any, any, pearls come out of having lived in many different places. I wonder, do you think that's part of, I wonder if that's part of why I have this, like calling to do this because when I was young, my. My parents brought me home from the hospital to this house that I lived in for 17 years and then they moved. I think I told you this yesterday and then they moved and it was, that was a hard one for me. It was a really hard pill to swallow. We didn't move cities even like we didn't move. I didn't have to change schools. Like it wasn't, it wasn't as significant to move as it might sound like, but like in my heart, it was huge. And then it was like, I needed that upheaval to realize that that physical house wasn't it. Because from there, I did a year abroad in university in Germany, which was obviously it was gone. And then just after my husband and I got married, like we got married in July, we didn't live together before we were married and we got married in July and in August we moved to China. That was a, that was a big one. And then we, when we were in China, we actually were in three different apartments. We were supposed to only be in one, but that's a very long story, but we ended up being moved to three different places. And then, you know, we came home and we tried to like set up a home and then we've moved four times in the last six years and I think that all of that really like fed how much it's not, it's not, it truly isn't where you hang your hat. It's how you make that space a home. And anytime I move, I am unpacked in a week. Like max, like every, there, there are no more boxes anymore because it has to feel like we've landed. It really has to, you know, pictures are up on the wall right away. Like love that. You know, when I travel different places, I am always cultured by just different perspectives and different styles, different languages, different accents. You know, foods and colors and, and architecture and all that. And, and you, you've done more than just travel. You have lived in many different places and there's a seasoning and, an awareness that comes from having all of those different environments, but still being able to identify the value of home. I, I honor that. It's really beautiful you said that the pictures go right up that they're a priority. I call that nesting. You know, when you're, when you're arranging things in a space to support you and those that you are caring for absolutely. And I feel like just, I just. I want to say that how much little people even notice because my kids each have a collage of like maternity and newborn shoots that we didn't have these clauses that are in their rooms. And I think it was 1 of my daughters who, in this last week, we just couldn't find hers right away. So, like, they were like, they're 1 of the 1st things that go up and we couldn't find hers. And she was noticeably unsettled without it there. She was like, she wanted it to keep looking mom find that thing. You know, so it's really, it shows how much like it, it really centers them. And it, it matters even when they're little. I know it makes my mama heart really happy when I see mine bonding over there, pictures of them. And I'll never forget. There's this one where my older daughter is waiting for school bus to the elementary school and we're sitting there at the end of the driveway waiting for the bus to come and little sister looks at big sister and she just like smooths her hair back and she's like, Annie, you look so cute today. You look so cute. You know? Yeah. And so that voice is in my mind. And then I took a picture and then gets on the bus. We're like, bye. Bye. Pull away. All of a sudden waterworks come out. Yeah, but when they. looked at those pictures after the fact, I reminded Ruby what she said of her big sister. She's like, my sister was so cute that day. And it's fun when they, when they talk about each other and they reminisce reflecting on not just themselves, but a memory with the sibling. We have one picture where. I'm like, a hundred months pregnant with my fourth, like, I don't know, you know, right at the end. And she was early. I don't know. I just, they were all early, but she was, she was early. And I still remember being like, yeah, we're done. It's done. But my, my third, who was he would only been like 2021 months at the time. Cause he was 21 months when she was born and he comes, there's this picture of him, like grabbing my belly and putting a space right on it. And I. Yeah. I don't know if he remembers or he's just heard the story enough, but he was just like, he, he would put his face right up against, Out, baby, Out!, I'm ready to play with you. Yeah, he still sees like pictures of him with his hands in space, really close to my belly. And he remembers, he's like, Iris, that's when I said, get out. It's really, it is really sweet. Retelling those stories and letting them have them to grow up with is that's, that's pretty good stuff. And it's a really great distraction on the days that are just not nearly as entertaining because we all have our moments. Absolutely. That's actually one of the, one of the tools that I've used here and there when they're You know, on a really rainy day and they're just squirrelly, you know, just getting out pictures that they maybe haven't seen for a while or grabbing this album that they maybe haven't looked at for a bit or here, let's look at your baby books. What's in them. it is a good distraction for them and it, it makes, it just shifts the whole day. It does. I am totally in agreement with you. And when we have the opportunity to have photo evidence of that, that just keeps a little bit fresher Absolutely. It's something that we just don't. We don't do it enough in my opinion. It's just we get so used to just, you know, what's the next thing? What's the next thing? Okay. Now I'm going to clean the kitchen and then I'm going to make the dinner and then I'm going to go, I don't know, sweep the bathroom at whatever, whatever the tasks may be. Right. And we lose, we lose a little bit of that playfulness. You know, how often we have the spontaneous dance party. Probably not as option as I'd like. To just bring playfulness in and find ways of sharing that. With those that we love is just that's definitely a beautiful thing. And, you having four young kids, I'm sure playfulness is just a normal sound in your home. I would imagine it is still. And it's, it's such a, it's such a magical sound, right? Like it's just listening to the giggles from the other room or like, Oh yeah. You know, thinking what are they getting up to? I don't, I don't like the sound of that and going out of the corner realizing they're just coloring and loving life, like it's so, it's so good. It is, you know, I think this is why my friend told me that you love your kids, but you're in love with your grandkids because I think children remind us to play. They remind our inner child to play and to laugh. And I mean, I think I would, I think I can see that in my own parents. They both worked when my brother and I were young and they, they were, they were around and they were available and they were, they were with us and, you know, my, I remember my dad playing catch my brother. I remember my mom playing popples and you want to remember popples popples on the living room floor with me. It's familiar. Yeah. I remember, I remember that they like stepped into their own little pouch kind of, I don't know. Okay. But I remember, I remember doing that, but watching them. Like they just do it differently with my kids, you know, and I don't think it's just my memory is different. Like they, they do it differently. You soak up your grandkids differently than you do your kids. Absolutely. Well, you don't have to like, well, unless you're actually raising them, you know, to, to have a more traditional role as a grandparent where maybe there are already parents raising the child and they don't have to be the disciplinarian. They get to go fully into the play. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And and now we have, you know, families are at all different forms these days and blends. And so you do find some new roles as far as the matriarchs, the patriarchs, the heads of the families, right. And, and grandparents do sometimes end up playing the guardian roles, but, if we can all just find our way to uncovering the joy knowing that we're doing the best we can right now. And I like to look back with gratitude and just say, you know, while I might have done things differently than my parents did, they did the best they knew how, and I know my kids will say the same thing about me and I hope they'll know I am doing the best I know how to do today. So may compassion be some of our legacy, what do you say? You also were talking about the role of your grandparents in your life and your, your kids lives and, if you wouldn't mind telling us a little about, some of the stories that your kids didn't live through, but feel like they do. Can we go there? The first flash I had when you said that was No, my daughter was there. She was, but she was little, like, too little to really remember. She was maybe, maybe two. Yeah, I'd say. And my, my husband was in the military and there was a parade that he was part of, and my grandpa was in the military forever ago. And so they, they kind of had a connection over that. Sure. And when Andrew was on parade, my grandpa. We, he was, I don't know, late mid, mid eighties, late eighties, he came with us to this parade. And I just remember like, my kids were just too little to care. They didn't know what was going on. So my grandpa was like super into it, but also super patient with them. And there's just this picture that I snapped of him holding my daughter in this ridiculous sundress, there's just something about like how ridiculous the dress, she looked cute. It wasn't inappropriate, but it's just like something about how I envisioned my grandpa in this, this like. juxtaposition of him holding this little girl's hand to cross the street and him like hunched down and like very like intently looking at her deep in conversation with, with this two year old. And, they remember that, but they don't remember, right. They've seen the pictures that they've heard the stories, right. But that's one of those, like they, they talk about it. Like it's like a vivid memory. Even, even my, my, my younger one, who would have been like, they're almost two years apart. So he would have been. Little, little baby, and he remembers that day or when all of these seem to be about my grandpa, but when my grandpa's 90th birthday, he died shortly after that, like, he didn't see 91, but he he was a very, old fashioned, serious man. And I, I, we hear, heard stories about when my, my mom and her siblings were young about how very strict he was and all this stuff, but like that, that's, that's not who I knew. Right. That wasn't my grands. Right. And at his 90th birthday, I don't know what possessed me to do it, but it was when I was younger, like. Eight or nine, maybe I took my hair once and I put it over, he was bald, put my hair over his and made a joke about him having a wig. And it was Thanksgiving dinner or something, he packed everyone up and for some reason at his 90th birthday, like, I'm, I'm in my mid thirties and I like, I just went and did the same thing and all of his brothers are there and they're. dying. This is not like you just don't do this to him. Only I could have gotten away with that kind of thing. Like nobody else. And we're going home and telling my kids that story. And I've heard them relate. To other people who were there as though they weren't there and my kids were there, you know. Did you, did you know one time mom did this to great grandpa and you thought it was funny and you know, isn't that cool, you know, doing that and whether they were actually there at the moment or too young to remember without help these stories really helped shape that sense of identity and belongingness and just feeling like we are part of something greater than we are alone. And so, I firmly believe that these pictures, that we share from our childhood, from our elders that we share with our kids, really help them understand how far their roots go. I have friends who are adopted and everybody's story is different and some know about their, biological families, or maybe know more about their adopted families or a whole mix. And I can understand the curiosity. I can understand why somebody would want to know their biological family, but I also I think that the whole adoption thing is proof that lives were chosen, you know, to be adopted means a human chose you, you know and that sense of belonging. And we don't all have all of the information. About us, you know, in this life experience, but just honoring what we do know and, and just practicing gratitude and really understanding that I am a piece of a legacy and hopefully creating pieces of my kids legacy that will benefit them going forward. But just that sense of coming back to home and safety and belonging and knowing where you come from, or where you're going. That's just something that we don't pay attention to when we're too busy. And I think photos allow us a moment to be present and mindful and just really bask in life right now, right now. And so while reminiscing, I think can, can be a bit of a bunny hole in the sense of you can lose track of time. I think if reminiscing is part of our everyday practice, it can be part of what we build on. It can be a springboard to say, okay, what's some of our best stuff that we can boast about having happened in our lives today that we can build on for tomorrow. And I, I love that idea and the other half of it, you know, there's two sides to every coin. The other half of it is like letting go of the things that interrupt those thoughts. And I'm, I'm not saying rewrite history, but what we focus on is where we grow. Right. I think that's such a beautiful thing about. Photos and reminiscing though, too, is because you aren't likely to take the photo of the unpleasant memory, you know, and it gives you, it really does help build that. It helps you let go of the things that may not serve you. I mean, not, you may not want to, cause you're not, whatever the day was, you're, you're capturing the better moments of the day, at least you're, you're saving the pictures from the better moments of the day. I feel like for, for where we are right now, we've done a lot of, we've just taken a whole bunch of pictures of ourselves and the kids outside just with the farm animals, just a lot of a lot of the outside around the farm. And then I'm, I'm very, I'm very trigger happy on Christmas. Oh, yes, that is definitely for the for families that celebrate Christmas. That is definitely a snap- happy day. That's when I need to, I need to, like, at the end of the day, I really should go through and filter. Yeah, I think that those are I, I, I try really hard to, to capture little moments, like just them when they're around the corner coloring pictures of that, we homeschool and so like I do try and take pictures of. Obviously, the moments when they happen to all be on task, whatever the task is, maybe for my own mental health, but this does work some days. But those moments I think are really, really special to me. I, those are, I don't know how everyone else feels about them in my family, but those are the ones that I cherish the most are just like, it's, you know, Tuesday at two in the afternoon, nothing's happening. I love this moment. Yeah. Oh, oh, see, that's definitely, a spirit of gratitude. Settling into that space, the energy of that gratitude and appreciation for the present. I think the more we do that on the good days, the more readily we can return to that on the, in the tougher times. Not everybody's in that warm, fuzzy space when they're hearing something like this podcast, for example, maybe somebody's listening to this and they're grieving right now, or they're healing from something and a photo can actually trigger those emotions if they're not healed or dealt with yet. What would be something that maybe your heart would say to or for somebody who comes across stuff that just is a little too triggering? Do you have any opinions or thoughts or something that bubbles up for you? I'm not sure how, how helpful it would be for the masses, but for me, I like to try and find the space to sit in that. I like to just be like this moment feels hard and horrible and I'm going to let it be hard and horrible until it's a little less hard and a little less horrible. Maybe it's 30 seconds. Maybe it's I only have 5 minutes. I'm going to do it again tomorrow. But I feel like for me, in order to move past that, I like to sit in that feeling. I don't feel like it serves me to try and fluff over to brush past it. But to to let it let it simmer until it doesn't feel as big like anything, right? It's like you cut on your toe. You're gonna deal with it until it's smaller, It's just sitting and simmering in it until it doesn't feel so hard and trying to bring bringing some like happiness back in sure but only when I'm ready, let it let it hurt for a bit yeah. I'm so glad you said that, Catherine, because there's a difference between wallowing and having self compassion, you know, and by literally giving yourself permission to feel the feelings. And to acknowledge it and to give it time to do what it needs to, to work through it. The more we do that, the more we can show up in the world with compassion for others too. So thank you for speaking those beautiful words. Thanks for asking. I feel like it's really powerful for. For children too, of all ages, like, you know, I am not perfect, but I try really hard not to say things like you're okay or it'll be okay, but it's a hard one, right? This feels big. These are big feelings we're having or whatever, whatever words come at the time, but it's not fluffing over it so that when there's no one there to coach them through it, hopefully they can sit with it for whatever the appropriate time for their body is. Right? I mean, there's nothing worse than thinking that, you know, You have to justify your feelings if you're feeling hurt, right? And, and when somebody doesn't turn to you with compassion and understanding and saying, that's okay, then maybe the ego has to argue for that hurt. And we don't want to do that. We want to just let it be what it needs to be till I can move on. Catherine, thank you for sharing a piece of your heart with us today. You make it very easy to picture love. Thank you so much for having me.