0:39

Okay. I have a confession to make. I have rerecorded this intro about four times already because I just keep getting so emotionally overwhelmed with gratitude and appreciation for the soul. You are about to hear Alison Wyman. She is just such love. I guarantee you and at least a half a dozen other people will come to mind who need to hear about these resources. She has put out there. And I'm partnering with her because I really believe in what she's doing. You know, we're all about preserving legacies so that we can live more beautiful lives right now, but also pave the way for those who follow us and just to be lights in the world. And Alison has taken some of her life's obstacles and trials and struggles, and really created tools that she should have had back then. And so she's really raising the tide for all boats. You will hear all about that next. So when you are finished listening to this episode check the show notes, grab a spot in one of her masterclasses, because I guarantee you will walk away. They're feeling fantastic. Uh, connected with people that you deserve to have in your space. You are in. for a treat. Let's talk like a CS with Alison.

Kris LeDonne 1:54

Oh, my dear Allison. I have waited for this moment for a while. I'm so excited. I feel like I've known you for, I feel like I've known you forever and really it hasn't. It's just been a minute or two. /I know, but I'm so just grateful to be here and thank you so much for having me. Oh my gosh. It's like, it's as silly as a best friend saying, thank you for having me over. For my audience who doesn't know Alison, I just fell in love with her heart and her soul and her spirit while learning how to be. A podcaster. We share a mentor, Kathy Heller, who we both love and adore. And the community that we've been brought to has just been so life changing, life altering and elevating in so many ways. Oh gosh, I'm just so, so grateful for the incredible people that I've met. I never thought that a podcast of all things could change my life, but the concept of having a podcast. In depth long form conversations with people, especially when you get into the nitty gritty of it, you leave with best with the best friend. That's just after 60 minutes, you've made a best friend. Yes. And, and your heart's so wide open that people do just, they're drawn to your warmth and your love and the nurture that your mission and your purpose requires. You have just followed your heart. So can you give us a nutshell version of what, of what you have birthed through this podcasting course? Tell us about cozy caregiver cafe./ I really appreciate that. Thank you so much. So. I am a family caregiving attorney, consultant, and coach. And what that means is I have my own law office where I do family caregiving work, which includes wills and trusts and estates, and I also do advising on what family caregiving plans might look like for adult children who are thinking about their aging parents and what I found in this legal work because really, um, although My heart is one of a spiritual Connection and a spiritual service which we can talk more about my professional training is of law What I found is that when I was working with these with clients who wanted to work on legal issues, they also really just wanted a way to think through some of the, the not strictly legal issues around caregiving to consider their emotional health now and in the future. And also to think about family legacy, which I know is where our souls connect, um, the concept of how to. Capture family stories from generations above them. So those stories aren't lost thinking about how to document their everyday life, particularly if they have young children and amazing things are happening, but they're not having a way necessarily, or the time or the systems to capture all of this incredible joy and love. And also to think about something broader, which I call many legacy letters, which is really. Passing on true lessons that, that they want their children to know. And so I was seeing all of this playing out and what was really incredible, Kris, is I was seeing this play out and I was also recognizing in my own life as a two time cancer caregiver to both my parents, once in my early twenties and once in my late twenties, and then also. As a current caregiver to my mom, as she ages, these were exactly the same themes that I wanted. So all of this combined together to have me not only create the cozy caregiver cafe podcast, which has been such a joy, but also a digital course for. Future family caregivers and current family caregivers that marries the concept of legal and practical caregiving pillars with legacy and with self analysis and assessment. So there's a digital course I created, and then there's this membership, which I'm launching in January. Oh my gosh, you are birthing so many digital babies. This is exciting, but, but it all makes sense because each one of those things you named the podcast, the course, the membership, all of it are pieces of a whole. And I can see why some people like to like, you know, shop and pick and choose, you know, one piece you're offering the full outfit to cover somebody. So they can receive the comfort, the warmth, the dignity, the compassion, the, the life experience that, that creates legacies of love. /Oh, gosh, thank you so much for saying that, Kris. I mean, I. I receive that and I so greatly appreciate that. And that, that is the hope. I mean, the, the concept of my law office, of course, is to provide a legal framework for people. Uh, the concept of the digital course is to help people prepare and plan. And then of course, the membership community is to help people endure and be. And so. All of this, there's, there's a spectrum of family caregiving that we all are going to go through. Yes. I mean, if you love somebody, yes. If you are lucky enough to have somebody in your life that you're, that you love, you will be a family caregiver in some capacity. Yes. And so I just want people to be prepared. You know, to somebody who's never worked directly with any legal team attorneys or lawyers, like in person, maybe they have been, you know, cared for by somebody who made those legal decisions. It could feel intimidating to approach an attorney's office if they just don't have that experience or that understanding. And I love how all of the things that you have said that are tangible, um. Let's just say theoretical support points. What we get from your voice is the compassion that everything is stitched together with. And that's something that that's not a legal term, you know, that's just the, the human spirit shining and supporting one another. So I hope that if there's somebody who listens to this episode of picture love, that they can think of the fact that there are attorneys out there and legal experts who really are not just. in it for the salary. They're in it for service of others./ Absolutely. That right now, that's just something that I didn't mean a tangent, but I just know that the reason why most people don't do something that they know is important is because of fear. Hearing your voice, I'm so glad you're doing the podcast, um, because it puts the compassion that doesn't have words. It's just a sound. It's a vibration. That's a feeling that transmutes fear. It really does. It, if one's open to it, that is so, uh, and it's very generous, your podcast as well because you're putting free content out there. You don't have to do that, but it builds trust. Well, /thank you. And I, I do have to say, Kris, that, uh, much like. I'd say maybe a doctor or a health care professional, a lawyer, a lawyer really, really, really works for the client. That's, that's how the system exists. That's how within legal regulations or code of ethics that exist within each state., a lawyer. Works for the client, and it is the client's this ultimate decision about what moves ahead in a particular case or in a particular legal matter. And it's also a lawyer's obligation to present, uh. The array, if you will, of opportunities or pathways to an individual client. And I say this because there is an information asymmetry or imbalance that exists, and I really never want anybody to feel too intimidated. To speak to an attorney to start thinking through what their estate plan might look like Or to start thinking through what their family caregiving plan might look like Again, if you can have the courage to approach an attorney I really hope that you also can have the mindset you can bring that mindset that this attorney Works for you. Yes, the attorney brings certain skills and knowledge and education and practical hands on experience but again all of that Is in service of what you need and in service of what your family needs./ /That's amazing. And when you have an expert in your field to attend to, to trust, then you don't have to be an expert yourself. You can rely on the expert who you've built. You're building a trust relationship with not just a legal relationship with to help you decide what, what questions need answers and what are the best ways to make the next steps. For the desired outcome, which is, you know, a loving life, caring for yourself, caring for others. And, um, those that you are responsible to. And quite honestly, I, I'm just looking at you with the picture love perspective. Attorneys can help their clients picture love from the state of security and an understanding and know how and a plan. Absolutely. Which gives peace of mind, right? It does. Peace. Peace period. Heart, mind, soul, peace. I love that. Picture love. Absolutely. I, I absolutely just love everything you said, Kris, and I so wholeheartedly agree with it. And the, uh, the attorney becomes, I think, an instrument, really, a person who's an instrument or a vessel for that individual to picture The love in their life and the assets and the belongings that they have and to picture how lovingly they want to transfer those assets upon their death or how they want to care for somebody. During that person's life. So I really love that. We're deconstructing the, any scariness that might exist around a lawyer and really seeing that lawyer as an instrument of love. That lawyer is an instrument of love for whatever it is you want to pass on, which I know is exactly what you do in your legacy work. We're just doing the legacy work and from a slightly different way. I love that. My husband and I just met with, um, my financial planner yesterday. Um, we, we got our, um, estate plan, uh, papers, um, on track. We're getting that completed finally next week. And it brings me such relief to know that that's just going to get finally completed. Cause it was something that was hanging over my head for so long. And, uh, you know, we had to. Think about while making choices for our investments and thinking about, you know, long term health care, you know, if 1 of us needs assistance, while the other 1 still vital and, you know, our, um, our beneficiaries and and all of these things, um. I'll be honest, they were really scary and I was avoiding the conversation, but it was because I have that trusted professional to offer me the questions with the information and hold my hand through it. That I left there feeling empowered. And I'm sure, I'm sure that's how your clients and your audience feels by receiving information and tools. You're like the camera and you're suggesting the right lens for them to take that photo. /That's such a terrific, uh, testimonial to your financial planner and just a wonderful experience. Yes. Everyone should feel empowered. And I think that when it comes to Legacy in the law and legacy in your line of work, that there is a lot of guilt and shame that can lead to delays. And what we want is to eliminate any barrier to those delays because we never know the cards that life is going to deal us. And so as a result of that. I want to say unknowing as a result of that unknowing. We really just want to put our love and our heart and our plan out there as soon as we can. And it's not, I want to be very clear. Kris, because I love that you said this. It's not doing it out of fear, for me it's doing it out of love. I love you this much that I'm going to make sure that our family legacy and photos and videos in the work you do is secure. And I love you this much, my child, that I'm going to make sure that I have a guardian named for you should something happen to me and to your other parents. Like to me, it's out of, it's, it's not out of fear. It's out of love. And I think there's an, an, there's an important distinction there. There's an important distinction there because when we do things out of love, we do them out of agency. When we do things out of fear, we do them out of reaction. And I want people to work in that agency because it's that agency. It's you choosing to go to your financial planner, which allows you. To leave with that feeling of empowerment and euphoria and peace, peace, peace, peace, peace. Oh, Allison, this is just such gold. I'm, I'm so grateful to have this conversation with you and, and I, I really believe that the picture love listeners are receiving the, the love, not just the information in your voice and in this conversation. So. That being said, talk about love. Do you mind if we talk a little bit about your family and what's your family life like and the family you came from and the family you live with today? I love talking about family in general, and I feel honored when I'm asked about mine, it's the reason I do the work that I do. So absolutely. Please ask away. Oh, good. All right. So tell us about growing up. And I know you have, I know you have some special dynamics regarding adoption to share. Uh, can you start there and just like, where'd you come from and who raised you and who's back in your life? I was born in Seoul, South Korea, and I was adopted when I was one to the most incredible parents I ever could imagine. It's really now in becoming a mama. We are, we have been so blessed to have our son Hudson, who's two and a half years old. And um, as a side note, we had him after five years of trying and going through IVF. So he truly is an answer to all of our prayers, but it's in becoming a mama and seeing my husband become a papa that. I have an even deeper appreciation and respect for the way that my parents raised me and the sacrifices they made and the efforts they put in when you're a child, right? You don't understand necessarily what's going on behind the scenes. You just see everything playing out and the way my childhood. Unfurled is I, I can look back and say it was so beautiful because of everything they were doing behind the scenes. So to all you parents out there and all you aunts and uncles and all your grandparents, like I see you and I honor you. You are incredible. Uh, so I have, I was raised by my mom and my dad, I grew up in New Hampshire and I. My dad passed away in 2006 from cancer, which was six months before my wedding. And then six years after that, my mom was diagnosed with cancer, which was three weeks into my very first and my dream legal job as an attorney out of law school. And so these two life defining moments are truly what set me on this professional path. And. You asked me about this about really sixes, man, sixes are showing up in my life about six months ago. I would say I received notice from the adoption agency, my adoption agency, that my biological family was looking for me. And since then, I have had a chance to connect with my biological father. We did the DNA test. We are 99. 9 percent related. So as related as, as, as the, the math and the. Science will allow. And we have started the process of communicating. That is so amazing. I mean, it's so beautiful to hear the unfolding. And you were actually doing some lives on social media while you are visiting and getting to explore that part of the country, which was. Isn't that when you were, isn't that when you were down in New Orleans? Oh, so I, I was down in New Orleans. Yes. And I was just, I was having a wonderful, wonderful time. We brought my mom there and that was our first family. Um, that was our, our first family vacation with my son, my husband and me and my mom of a place that we had. None of us had ever been. Oh, that's so beautiful. Readable. Yeah. I got some, I got some information crossed there. That's okay. I appreciate, I appreciate that you were following. Okay. So if you're not following Alison Wyman, you need to, because her social media content just makes you feel like you're so part of her life and story and it's. Just all are welcome. So, well, thank you, Kris. And then I have to say that, when I was in New Orleans, and I, I so appreciate you Kris, because you've actually reminded me that's how, how eagle eyed you are. When I was in New Orleans, that's when I first shared with my community on Instagram and on social media about my biological father. That was the, the first time that I had thought about sharing it. And you know, Kris, I'm sure that, I imagine that with your clientele, you see this as well. There are sometimes these life moments where we, we kind of, we're like, no, we want the package. We want the whole package to be wrapped with the beautiful bow before we share it, before we present it. And what I realized in family caregiving and in life in general is that, um, If you wait for that moment, it may never come. And so that's why I decided in New Orleans, when I was on this trip with my mom and my husband and my son to start sharing it. I, I always want to be as open as possible about family caregiving and about family legacy, because Sometimes I think there is shame around this and I want to do whatever I can to dispel that shame. And it is my hope. It is sincere, my sincere hope that by sharing a little bit about what I'm going through, I'm hoping that it, it might inspire a level of action for other people. You know, because the truth is, my biological father and this story is interesting to my son because it is his heritage and it is. Going to be I truly am putting out there to the universe without knowing what's going to come back I truly feel like it'll be a life changing relationship for him And it's one that I had prayed for which we can talk about a little bit more if you want But the the the idea of my biological father is I want people to understand that Their history, their family hierarchies and stories, those are going to be truly meaningful to all of the people in their family line that come next. Your story is interesting and, and it, it does more than just lift up your family and let your son get to know his roots because then his branches make more sense. It gives permission to other people to be open. And it gives, by setting the tone and the example that it's good to share. And if people don't want to listen, they can keep scrolling. But those who need to have the inspiration of your sharing in order to maybe say, Hmm, maybe today is the day to talk to my son, talk to my step and talk to my whomever about their family roots that I have been too sad to talk about or too blocked to talk about. Or maybe, maybe just the fact I'm thinking about it makes this the perfect moment. Instead of waiting for life to orchestrate this movie scene, right? So thank you. Well, and the thing is, Kris, that I am. So I was raised by my mom and my dad. The people who raised me are, like I said, two of the most beautiful individuals I could have asked for in my life. And I, of course, I, I am Asian and my son is half Asian because I'm Asian and, and my husband is Caucasian and in family photos, uh, I am typically the only. person of color or the only Asian person in any of our family photos. And one of the things that my husband and I both realized when we had our son is that neither of us knows what it's like to be an Asian male. So. My husband is male and I'm Asian, but we just don't have that collective experience of what it's like to be an Asian male. So at that point, it was right after my son was born because we didn't learn the sex of our child until he was born. That's when I really started praying and I prayed to God that I could have An Asian male role model come into my son's life because that is just not a role that I can fill, you know, as mamas, we want to do absolutely everything, but that is not a role I can fill. It's a limitation I recognize. And so I started praying to God and it was just a few months later that my biological father came in. To our life. Wow. That was like a supersized request. You said an Asian male, but this is the Asian male you come from. So that's just, Oh, that's just so beautiful. Thank you. And Kris, I have to tell you, because I, as you know, I adore photos and I adore all of the work that you do. It is, it is my hope that we will be able in our family scrapbooks, digital and on paper to have photos where my son is not the. Only Asian male in the photo. That's really, that's, that's, that is in my heart, the reunion that we're working towards. Family photos, family photos that include that. I, I feel that. In my bones, I feel that's done. I feel it for you. Thank you. I do. I'm not just saying that. I feel it for you. It's it's there. It's there. And, and it will be a beautiful unfolding. I have no doubt. No doubt. Thank you. /Um, do you mind if we just shift a little bit, I don't want to let our time run out. I don't want to let people go without hearing a little bit about ways that you're serving your audience in a, the course. And then also, um, what's it like to be in that community that you have, by the way. Quite a following. So I have a feeling that when it's officially launched, your community will not be quiet. I think you will have lots of excitement and stories and listeners already just from launch, but give us, give us some, some sneak peeks and make us hungry about what's coming. Kris, I just before and thank you for such a generous question before I say that I just I need you in my life every single day is what what I have decided hearing you just, you know, you truly are building me up and building my own love and confidence in my vision. So thank you. I mean, my eyes are brimming. I just in my heart is brimming. I just want to say thank you. Thank you. You are so sweet and I receive your gratitude and I just. I can't wait to hug you. You're in New York. I'm in New Jersey. This can't be hard. Okay. So, um, the, the digital course is called how your family wins in caregiving. Love it. And I, the reason why I chose that title and I love that title is because when it comes to Aging and family caregiving. It's very clear what we lose. It's very, very, very clear how we lose. We don't know when, but we know that we're going to lose things. We're going to lose someone we love. We're going to lose time. The person we love is going to lose agency. We're going to lose money. Like all of that is set in stone. In a certain way. And so instead of just losing being the ultimate outcome that at some point in time when caregiving calls, we're all going to have to suffer through an experience. I want people to have an affirmative plan of how their family can win. How their family can win and what it looks like for their individual family. Kris, what it looks like for my family to win in caregiving will not be what it looks like for your family to win in caregiving. But I have been in this caregiving field personally and professionally for nearly 20 years. And I can tell you that it's the same six pillars. Sure. That are practical and legal that we have to focus on. And when something goes wrong. Yes. Exactly. And when something goes wrong, it's going to be in one of these pillars. So wouldn't it be great, Kris, if you had the functional and foundational knowledge before a crisis about these pillars? I love the resource that you are just making readily available. And the beauty of a digital course is there is autonomy. There is the ability to take it, you know, in digestible pieces. You're exactly right. There is autonomy. And I want not only autonomy in the learning experience, but also autonomy in the navigation of caregiving. So here's my concept, Kris. My concept is that if you create a quote unquote caregiving plan, and I'm not dumping on this, like if you have a caregiving plan, that's great. The problem with plans, though, is that life happens and things change. And if so, if you have a plan that says, Well, first, it'll be a, then it'll be B, then it'll be C, then it'll be And something shifts like your plan may not hold. So instead of a plan, what I want people to have is a caregiving map. I want them to understand the land and the areas that caregiving will take them so that when they land in caregiving and you're in the wilderness and it's dark, you can get your bearings and you can look around and you can say, Oh. Here's one of the caregiving pillars. We're not there. So I don't need to focus on. Wow. I'm right in the middle of this territory. And this is like the, the, the financial caregiving pillar. And so I have the functional knowledge, know how to navigate from here. And I've also, and I offer this in my course, I've also had the opportunity to speak to my loved one and to ask them the critical questions so that I know where they're coming from, what they care about, what they're exactly, how they feel about things. This is like a Jumanji. It is a Jumanji. And the other, the other thing that I have to say is that there are these general, I call them the six pillars of caregiving. And that's the practical stuff, the legal stuff. And the course is going to not only provide the legal education, which gives people the confidence and the courage to hold these conversations. But for anyone who's. interested during the course, they're going to have an opportunity to actually hold those conversations with their family members. So what I'm creating, Kris, is a container that if people should want. Within that container period, they can hold the critical conversations with their family members that they need to. And they can hold those conversations with confidence because they will have the background framework that allows them to know which questions to ask and to know how to respond. And so, of course, I don't want to just lead people with. Information and then saying you should ask these types of questions. No, the questions are actually scripted out. There are worksheets. So it is here is here are the most important conversations that you need here. The questions to ask. Yes. And here is a place where you can write your answers. But what also, when we're lost, when we're lost in the woods, it's not just about knowing the land. I think it's also about having what I call celestial navigation. What are the stars? Telling you, where is your North star? How are you viewing when the ground is dark? When you can't see the land, how are you viewing the guidance and the wisdom that you're receiving from others? And so the legacy portion of this course looks at that celestial navigation. It's your family stories. It's what, um, is your family history in a certain. Bucket. And what is it that this particular individual has experienced in their life, the really good and maybe the not so good that's led them to this practical consideration of who they've chosen, you know, to be their executor or why they've made a particular financial decision in their estate plan. So what I really love about this course is that it integrates not only the practical legal, but also. The family legacy. Sure. Because I truly believe, Kris, that in understanding how these two work together, you have the keys to the caregiving kingdom. And then the, the third part of it this is the, I would argue maybe even the most important part, although I'm not sure that people would recognize it at the outset, I call it the compass and it's the self-assessment. It's what is it that matters to you? Why do these things matter to you? What are your boundaries that you can set? And I mean, practical time and financial, financial is a big one. What are the boundaries you can set ahead of time? And how can you know that you're not putting your family and your children at risk by making certain financial decisions for someone else when you're caregiving for them, I could see why it would serve everybody, whether they realize how much it will or not. People pleasing is absolutely the reason why we have the compass. The idea of the compass is gives permission. To not do things that your loved one who you're caring for may want done. And that's really, really, really hard if you are a people pleaser, or you're just someone who desperately loves the person that you're caring for and wants their life to be better and hates that this is happening to them. I mean, you know, people pleasing comes in many different forms, but it's this concept that I want to give you everything you want. Oh, wait. But I can't give that to you because in giving that to you, it takes from me and for this truly to coexist for caregiving to truly happen on a level that's beneficial for you and doesn't harm me. I need to set this boundary. And the person that you love. Ideally, it's going to have some understanding of that, that, that you, that the caregiver has to be taken care of as well. And self care is, is, is for everyone. /Absolutely. Absolutely. The, and Krista, um, I know that we, we both in the lines of work that we do, we think about, um, the next generation, right? Yes. Or we think about. Absolutely. In the spectrum of life, as things progress, the, the next phase, right? You're preserving things for that next phase of life. And what I can tell you, because I've seen it and I've also lived it, is that the phase of caregiving. That's the most challenging is actually when someone is no longer a caregiver, when they're what I call a former caregiver. So it's not It's like the grieving, the grieving, uh, um, chapter. Absolutely. It's not, I mean, in caregiving can be, can be, it can be great. It can also be hell. It can be both at the same time. So don't get me wrong. After everything ends and you have to live with yourself and you have to rebuild your life and life has not slowed down, right, outside of your caregiving bubble. That is the very, very difficult period. And it's not one where there are a lot of services around. There's a lot of awareness around. And so I call awareness to that. And that's what the compass is for, Kris, the compass is for saying here. Are my boundaries now in this present moment of caregiving because I want to be healthy after caregiving. And healthy to grief. Say someone passes. It's not saying that I want to be healthy and so everything is happy and I feel no, you know, grief. Like, I want people to be healthy enough as future caregivers so that they. can do what it is they need to do to move on. So that's grieving, that's, you know, making a move, that's resting, that's taking time. I just want them to be able to do that. And what I find is if we don't have that internal compass, we haven't set boundaries, then we, we really don't have a reserve at all. And we're starting from zero. You know, Allison. I would like to think from the perspective of the loved one being cared for. They would like the peace of mind to know that in the next chapter, you know, after departures happen, that those who survive us would not come out worse for the wear, but would come out enriched and, or at least somewhat prepared or, you know, more than an inheritance, you know, you know, let, let there be something sustaining, let them grow through this process instead of just being grieved. /No, absolutely. I, I love /that. And it really, when you say that it, it, it, what you're talking about is it becomes this truly symbiotic relationship of love where sometimes in caregiving, it can feel selfish to have our boundaries, our compass selfish. Sure. What I love that you're saying is that it's not because if someone's willing to. Honor our boundaries. Say the person we're caring for is willing to honor our boundaries. Then by setting the boundary, we're really giving that person the gift of peace of mind. /Sure. And we're giving them the ability to see we are not caring for them at the cost of our own life, life experience, um, you know, it's like when you pay somebody a compliment and this is a very, very small analogy, but you pay someone a compliment and it comes from your heart. You want them to receive it. You don't want them to dismiss it. You want them to receive that gift of gratitude, you know, the gift of that love and that energy. And when somebody dismisses it because they're just not, you know, honoring themselves enough to receive that, then it's, it's like, you know, missing the target. If I was the one with a terminal illness and my loved ones were caring for me, I would want them to receive the benefit of my gratitude. I would want them to, that's my legacy of love. I don't want to leave them feeling empty. I want to leave traces of. Love for them. It's not about me. It's about them. That intention I'm talking about. Gosh, Kris. Yeah, no, I, I completely agree. I mean, this is. For me, picture love of caregiving, and it truly is picturing the love of caregiving and how families can win. Yeah. Amen. So I would imagine that that compass conversation where I really made you park a lot longer than maybe you had planned. I would imagine that that's a lot of the juice running in the community that you're building. It is. It is. Absolutely. I truly believe in that. And I believe that we not only have learned. behaviors and boundaries, which we need to honor, but we have inherent behaviors and boundaries sort of going back to our nature versus nurture adoption conversation. There are things that are inherently a part of me and inherently a part of you that may not make sense to other people, but they don't have to, they're just part of our DNA. And so I really am going to guide people in my, in the course about recognizing some of those boundaries. As they relate to pillars of the practical components of caregiving. And so, um, but when it comes to the community, Kris, I not only want people to focus on caregiving because people in the community are most likely going to be current caregivers. And so their life, their daily life is caregiving. I really want to give them a hopeful reach to the next level of their life and to where their life could go if they're feeling at a low place. I have been there, Kris. I have been very honestly in the lowest of low places as a result of caregiving and during my caregiving. And so that's why I know this community is what I wanted. It is going to be a. A daily touch of joy and love and hope, a daily touch of joy and love and hope from someone who's been there, but also is at a place truly of so much love and gratitude now. Like I want people to know that when they're living in a space of caregiving, their daily life can incrementally be different based upon mindset activities and exercises and how they're viewing the world. But I also want them to be able to foresee a future that isn't what they're living right now. I think that was my big hang up, Kris, was that when I was a caregiver, it just felt like it's going to be like this for the rest of my life. And so why, why should I even try to do anything different because this is what it's going to be. I never want somebody to feel that way. I love that. And you are so right. And it sounds like you're building something that really would have helped you going through those stages of your life. Um, so you know firsthand that this is valuable and it's, and it's truly uplifting and it's, it's going to definitely buttress countless people and, and their communities that they. influence. So I, I commend you. I applaud you. I'm so, uh, just so pleased for you that you're building this. And, and another thing is we are relational creatures. You know, we, we were, we are made for relationships. We really are depending on your beliefs. I believe that we are all connected. I really do. And there's a shared spirit that needs to not feel cut off and separated from the world. And when I'm in a safe space with other people walking their own journey, but with who carry resonance with my own, I'm, I feel seen, I feel heard and I feel loved and I feel accepted. And when you have all of those things, then you. There's safety and there's healing that can take place, not just practical help making decisions and sound walling for each other. But that's really where I think we, we raised the tide for all boats. Oh, gosh, thank you so, so much for saying that, Kris, and the water, the water metaphor and the sea is what I use when I think about caregiving. It is the metaphor that I use. So thank you. Thank you for saying that. And the other thing that I want to mention, Kris, is that it's not only that this membership community is what I wanted, but for my digital course, my, my dad died without a will. I wasn't doing this line of work. Um, I, of course, wasn't even a lawyer. I hadn't even graduated college when he passed. But my dad was so good at so many things. And he just was not good at this. And I wish I could have helped him be better. Because that would have helped our family after he passed. And so this whole course is designed through lessons learned and as a love letter to any family member who is so good at certain things and not good at this. I don't want families to experience the hardships that my family experienced. Because my dad died without a will and without us having certain discussions. And there were huge, not only practical and emotional, but financial ramifications because of that. So what you put on the table is a box for the taking. So people can receive that gift, you can toss away that don't know how and don't know where to get the help because help is here. Help is here. Oh, my goodness. My heart. You, my, you are such an angel. Thank you. Oh, gosh. The way you touch my soul. Oh, ditto. My friend. I truly, truly mean that now, Alison, I'm going to make sure that we put all the links in the show notes for this. Is there something that you could say to your younger self when your father passed without a will to just soothe that heart? Oh gosh, well thank you for that question. Absolutely. I would say that there can be. Chaos and beauty at the same time. And the way that we honor people is by recognizing their imperfections, but also bringing to the forefront. of our hearts and our experiences, those lessons learned so that other people don't have to make the same mistakes. Wow. Mic drop. That's beautiful, Allison. Thank you for being so vulnerable and so generous with your heart. And your information and your resources. I hope everybody is now not just following, but truly listening to cozy caregiver cafe. I hope everybody follows you on social media and engages, and I hope that they're sharing this so that others can know about this really needed resource, that there is a container to serve everybody who's anticipating this happening, who's going through it. Maybe somebody coming out the other end who still has to sort out some things and to just want to not feel so alone or feel like they're shooting all over themselves still but there is definitely light and lessons in everything. And a whole lot of compassion waiting to be received. /Thank you so much for having me, Kris. I, I feel like this was just, you know, I, I feel so seen and so loved, but also so buoyant and excited. You have the ability to give that all. So thank you. Thank you, Kris. It was truly an honor.