Hi, friends. Welcome back to picture love. I have literally tried to record this episode four times. I'm just going to show up unedited, uncut, because this message is too important to not come out. And I'm going to start with a dedication before we have a brief message from our sponsor, and then we will dive right in. This episode of picture love podcast is dedicated to my loved ones who are suffering right now. They are emotionally suffering. They're in a tizzy. They're all balled up in emotional knots. They do not want a word from me. They know I love them, but I have been given wisdom. I so wish they could receive and to those who are listening it's for you too, because maybe, just maybe there's a gentle reminder or a tool in this episode that you've been looking for that you need to keep in your tool belt because everybody has emotions that can be used as valuable directives or as a compass to help us get back on track better than ever. This is for you. If you want to show up as the best version of yourself. We'll be right back. If you're looking for a trusted service that can transform tons of printed and digital pictures into something that's space conscious, beautiful, and displayed on your walls or in a legacy album on your lap, then look no further. Reminiscence by Chris Ladan is here to serve you and your loved ones. Now you can continue to make and capture beautiful photo memories, enjoy sharing them with ease, and make new memories in the process of reminiscing You can find inspiration and a contact form at chrisledon. com or just check the show notes for a link. Now back to the show. Okay. We're going to get started. Here are some of the signs that told me I was working on or struggling with something. And these were, these were the signs that I first saw. And this episode is going to walk you through what I've learned are valuable steps to feel our way through to a better circumstance and better outcome. One was somebody questioning how it was running my business specifically regarding my pricing and wanting information from me without giving me information. So it was like a communication gap that caused tension and a misunderstanding that didn't feel good. That felt like I was on a hamster wheel and I identified my stomach in knots. After the electronic communication with somebody who would not be on the phone with me to ask a clear question or give a clear answer. So my stomach balled up and knots was one of the indicators. I was not in alignment with where I wanted to be. Another one was, um, wanting so badly to help somebody feel better.-Somebody I observed who was clearly very sad and very lonely and I wanted to come fix it, but I knew that was not my role. And so I found myself kind of in a worry pattern and my stomach told me because it was in knots and I I definitely had to acknowledge that that was something that needed a little bit of healing inside of myself. Another one was a client that reminded me of a former boss, somebody who was extremely micromanaging overanalyzing everything I did and how I did it. And that boss could never do the job I did. And I just let them be the reason I was second guessing myself and a recent client triggered that memory and I found myself, my stomach and knots again and sweaty palms and really second guessing myself and then I realized, Oh, wait a minute. I've already learned that lesson. I need to just get myself realigned again. If that's not enough, here's an example of when you're serving a loved one, whether you come to it with a mask of obligation or commitment or adoration when you're serving somebody else and they are relying on you and taking too much from you. Like there's a sense of entitlement that can cause resentment in myself. That's when I realized when I was getting bitter and resentful that I needed to make some adjustments in my expectations and maybe some readjustments in my boundaries. And so the symptoms I recognized were feeling very resentful towards somebody else. And that was a sure sign I was in misalignment with myself. And the last one was a clue that something was off because I was eating things that I had decided I didn't want to eat anymore and I wasn't feeling better as a result, but I wasn't aware I was doing it until after the fact. And my stomach ache told me so. And I had to do a little bit of a breadcrumb trace to figure out why was I doing that. But these were all symptoms that told me something's wrong and I need to get right with myself again. I'm going to share with you the wisdom that I've been gifted with. Okay. This is not a listen to me, this is really more of the student sharing the lesson they learned. Please take it as it resonates and share if you like me care about shedding light and encouragement and letting everybody know that your struggles are unique to you, but they're not unusual. Well, So let's dive in. I'm going to show you some of the ways that we can feel our way through situations into showing up as the best version of ourselves right here and right now. So once we realize something is off, cause we don't feel good, we don't feel like ourselves, like the way we want to show up in the world, there's our first clue. So those emotions are actually. Gifts. They are gifts that our soul is giving us to let us know we're going to need to do a little bit of work and it doesn't have to be hard work, but you have to be willing to be really honest with yourself in order to get through it quickly and effectively with fewer battle scars in the process. So here's what I've learned. Once you identify what feels off, you're going to have to be willing to receive more information. And you don't have to do it by going to other people because other people are not living your situation. You are the only one. I am the only one in my own circumstance and in my own life experience. So figuring out how do I feel and then figuring out why do I feel that way? And my favorite way to go deeper is with a pen and paper. If you're not a journaler and you just want to take a scrap paper just to test this theory, I highly encourage you to do that right now. And the idea is to literally brain dump, like think of it as you've got a huge, Tote bag, and you lost your keys in it with all the other stuff that's in there. And it might not be one single shred of it's just a matter of everything's in there in a dark, deep tote. And you can't see anything among all of the bulk. So you dump it out on the tabletop and you sort it out. So that's what I'm encouraging all of us to do is to brain dump onto paper everything and identify what are the feelings, the emotions, literally write them out and don't shame them. Just give them titles, frustration, anger, confusion. Overwhelm. Stress. Get the words out of your head and onto paper and literally pretend you are Dumbledore for the Harry Potter fans where you're pulling the memory out of your mind so it no longer occupies your gray matter because it matters. Identify while you're brain dumping, what are the activities or the events or the circumstances surrounding it? Job, boss, car, whatever things are causing unrest that are ingredients in this story, write them down, literally identify what's a feeling and what's a circumstance. And keep in mind. This is all temporary, so it's okay to be messy. If you're like me and you love colors, maybe just choose like a green and a blue and circle the things that are emotions and circle the things that are circumstances, whatever floats your boat. Moving on. Then ask yourself, why am I in this situation to start with? Hmm. It could have to do with the fact that you're raising a family. It could have to do fact that you're a student. It could have to do with the fact that you are in one housing situation, getting ready to move to something better. You ask yourself the why, why am I in the circumstance? And then you get to ask yourself a second why. What is my why? And hopefully your why is attached to I'm showing up as the best version of myself ever evolving and ever growing, meaning give yourself something that's an encouragement that leaves space for growth. That is not a judgment on the goodness or the badness, the success or the failure, even to encourage yourself and call something really good, implies there's another half of that coin. So just label things according to, what are they without a judgment. Okay? The reason for doing this is asking yourself, what is my why? And what if your why is not aligned with you, meaning I'm doing this to make my mother happy and you're not living for yourself. And that's where seeing these truths written out in front of you is a beautiful way of seeing where the misalignment is because not one of us is here to live for another human. We are each here to have our own life experience and by showing up in the best version of ourselves, we are benefiting those around us to do the same. Because if everybody stayed in their lane. We wouldn't be having any of these fender benders. We'd all be in our own lane at our own pace, and it would be okay because we will all get there when we need to get there in our own time. If it's not obvious already to this point, not once did I say this wisdom told me to take an action. The only action was figuring out the information and putting it in front of my eyes so that I can see what are my circumstances and remember what I'm connecting them to. Because once I see what my why is and what I'm actually been doing and what my circumstances are, if there's a misalignment, that is what can help me choose my best action. Here are the three actions that I get to choose from. And I invite you to do the same. 1. Choosing not to make a change and to continue on the current path. That is a choice by not taking a new direction. That is a choice to stay the plan..The second one is to leave the situation; completely leave the relationship, leave the job, leave the circumstance. That is a chance to remove yourself from a conversation. If they won't quit the gossiping and it's really bothering you and there, and you don't feel like you can confront or stand up, remove yourself from the situation so that you're not adding to the gossip. My favorite solution is when it's something that I don't want to give up on, like a precious relationship is asking myself, can I look at the circumstances and choose not to invest in them and send them love? Because if somebody I love is suffering and they are not going to receive support and guidance from me, can I just be the observer and not emotionally nvest in what it is that I don't even understand because I'm not in their shoes. That is, I think my favorite option because by showing up and realigning myself and getting myself back on track, I am more of a stable rock for them to look to for guidance. I get to be that white line in the street. You know, the white line that you can know you're not going off by being consistent and by being steady, I'm allowing myself to live more fully as myself. And I trust myself when everything is in alignment and every single one of us has that same inner guidance that you can rely on. And when we rely on our inner guidance, we are on track and we can trust that. So I don't know if this makes sense to you. I sure hope it does, but it all comes down to making a choice after reviewing the information and of course a lens of compassion for ourselves and for others without worrying about is this right or wrong. It's just a matter of does it align with where we are right now and where we're trying to go. And if it doesn't, then we get to make a decision. I really hope that these words bless somebody today. I hope it makes you feel supported and not judged. I hope it makes you feel free to be part of a conversation in my community because if you are the kind of soul who will listen to this and receive it with love, you are the kind of soul I want to know. So that's it for this episode of picture love. Thank you so much for being here. I hope you will come back and I hope you will bring friends who are just like you, eager to grow and to learn and to know that everybody's experience is going to be unique to them and that is how it should be. I love you and thank you for listening.